


Barely Addicted

by aotakemealive



Series: Barely Addicted [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, OCs (Parents), Smoking, Summer Before College/College AU, Underage Drinking, tbh its more of a college setting rather than being about college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aotakemealive/pseuds/aotakemealive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the summer before college begins and Jean starts to finally have a good time, if only it had come sooner. Leaving to a completely different college than everyone else is going to be hard, especially now that his new best friend, Marco, will only be able to call or write when he can. But Jean is determined to maintain the relationships he has with his friends. He's sure he can figure it out even if it means disappointing a few people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There's Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> straight up story from '87. it's pretty much the story of how my parents met so naturally i turned it into a jeanmarco au. i've never written fanfiction before so bear with me and I hope you like it.  
> there will however be certain stuff I incorporate from my parent's story that I'll tell you in the end notes for shits n giggles.  
> Enjoy!

Jean felt a drop of sweat roll along the side of his cheek as he adjusted the neck of his t-shirt. It was too damn hot with the surplus of food stands and hoards of people walking around. Plus all of the children giggling or screaming with adults only doing the same except drunk, were not making the environment any better. He skimmed his eyes over the groups of people walking by, looking for his friends he lost when he went to the bathroom. It took him but one minute to pee yet they managed to completely ditch him, leaving him stranded by the empty stage in the center of the carnival.

He sighed, _I need a cigarette,_  thinking to himself. Only he didn't have any. He didn't consider himself addicted to them since he craved them in times of stress. 

Not having the time or money to leave and buy his own, Jean scanned the crowd again looking for anyone that he could bum one off of. His eyes latched on to a guy, about his age and covered in freckles, who was digging through his fanny pack. Whoever this guy was, he was seriously focused while looking for something within it.

“‘Scuse me, uh, do you happen to have a cigarette I could have?” The guy stared right into Jean’s amber eyes with a blank face that suddenly turned mortified.

“What? No! No! I don’t smoke! It’s bad for you! Like, my lungs and stuff? No!”

Jean eyed him, glancing at the dark freckles across his already dark skin and back up to his eyes. “Look, guy, I wasn’t,” Jean let out a light chuckle, “I wasn’t, like, accusing you or anything, I was just asking. It’s cool, thanks though.” Jean started to turn away but the guy stopped him by grasping his arm.

“Ah, I’m sorry," he let go, "I didn’t mean to be so off-put and rude, I was just caught off guard. But, uhm, if you want, you can have a piece of gum,” he said, bringing out a white strip after searching through his pack briefly. He smiled softly at Jean, who now felt obligated to take it.

“Sure, I guess.” He bit into the strip and watched the guy take out a piece for himself and place the pack of gum back into his fanny pack. Despite the rambunctiousness of carnival, there was a silence between the two boys, which Jean desperately wanted to fill. He typically couldn’t handle awkward silences for too long so he hoped that this kid would play along. “I’m Jean, by the way,” he said, turning a little to face him and offered his hand.

“Oh," he exclaimed then smiled, "I’m Marco, nice to meet you.” Marco took his hand and shook, “I use to go to Garrison high school, what about you?”

“I just graduated from Trost.”

“Oh, boss! I have friends that went there. Do you happen to know-”

“Jean!” He turned to see his friend one of his friends Connie waving at him. “Dude, Jean, we’ve been looking for you!" He came closer with Sasha trailing behind him, ogling at the food surrounding them. "What the hell, thought you were just going pee!” 

“I did! Then you guys straight up ditched me.”

“It’s my fault,” Sasha interjected, “I saw the cotton candy guy and got too excited. Chased him down and borderline tackled him but I sure as hell got my candy.” She grinned, pink sugar stuck between two of her teeth.

“You should have seen it. She had with wicked gleam in her eye and I swear the vender almost had a heart attack..." Connie peaked behind Jean, "wait...Marco?” 

Marco, who was incredibly curious as to why this practically bald shorty was recognizable, gave a broad smile when he finally realized who it was. “Connie! Hey! It’s been a while.” Marco inched up to stand shoulder to shoulder with Jean. “How has your summer been?”

“Awesome! I'm trying to get a lot done around town before I go off to college. You know, hang out with friends, eat a shit ton of food," Sasha grunted in agreement. "How about you? I never asked where you were going.”

“I was accepted to Rose University. Heading over there at the end of August.”

“Wait, seriously?" Connie was practically on the balls of his feat in excitement, "that’s where I applied! Dude! We’re goin’ to college together!” 

“Uhm,” Jean shifted slightly looking between Connie and Marco.

“Jean, how do you know Marco?” Connie slapped his hand against Marco shoulder, making him lurch forward a little. For such a small dude he held quite a bit of power.

“He just asked if I happened to-”

“Happened to have a piece of gum, ‘cause my breath smelled from the food earlier, that’s all.” Jean glanced over to Marco, who was already looking at him with his eyebrows scrunched together. Jean didn't want anyone to know about his smoking, especially coming from a guy who he barely knows. “Remind me how you two know each other?”

“Connie and I were on the same baseball team in the spring. He's who I was going to ask you about earlier but it turns out you obviously know each other!” Marco laughed softly looked back to Connie before something caught his eye behind him. “Ah, Bert! Over here!” Marco called, making Jean shift his gaze from Connie to the stranger approaching behind him, towering over all of them.

“Glad I found you. Reiner and Annie already found a table by the speakers so I thought I’d try to find you.” Bertholdt looked down at Connie, his face contorting into a surprised look. “Hi, Connie! I didn’t see you, how’s it goin’?” He rubbed Connie's shaved head, only to have it slapped away. 

“Fantastic," he remarked, putting on top his head. "So, Reiner’s here too then, huh? Where are you guys sitting? I want to say hi since it has been a while."

“Over there,” Bert pointed towards the end of the stage behind Marco and Jean.

"Awesome. We're gonna go grab Armin and Eren too. They're here and I bet they'd want to see you guys again."

"Sounds good! We'll be waiting!" Bertholdt started walking past Jean and Marco, pressing a hand into his Marco's shoulder to signal him to walk together. 

“I can barely process anything that is happening right now,” Jean whispered to himself.

“Cool, c’mon Jean, let’s go get them.” Connie grabbed Jeans t-shirt and pulled him into the moving crowd. Looking back, Jean's eyes caught Marco's, who smiled and waved back to him then turn around to walk with Bertholdt back to the table their friends were sitting at.

Toughing through the crowd, Jean was becoming more and more confused. “Wait, what is happening exactly," addressing Connie.

“That guy you met, Marco? Him, Bert and their friend Reiner were all on the same baseball team with Eren, Armin and I.”

“Even though we go to different schools?” Jean wasn't sure of any goings on while in school. He typically avoided being in the building longer than he had too and opted to "focus on his studies" or so he told his father.

“Since our school is too small we just joined with Garrison. We did pretty well too, Marco has one hell of a pitch. I haven’t seen these guys since we ended the season, this is awesome! Exactly what I wanted to do before I left.” Connie let go of Jean’s shirt by now and powered through groups of people, finally ending up to where Eren and Armin were standing next to Mikasa. “Guys, I found Marco, Bert and Reiner!”

“What, really?” Armin said, turning around to face Connie approaching.

“Yeah, they’re over by the stage, I told them to save us a seat.”

“Let’s go then.” Eren practically shouted. Jean rolled his eyes at his overexcitement. They’ve never necessarily got along, often finding themselves more alike than they think which only would end in conflict, but having such similar mutual friends, Jean had to bear with it.

Everyone started to head towards the stage while Jean trailed behind them a bit. He thought to himself about how today is taking a very different turn to what he planned. Ideally, he would’ve found a way to get Mikasa away from the group to ride the ferris wheel with him.

Jean was always fascinated by her unwavering beauty, brains, and strength and has been trying to get her to noticed him since freshman year of high school. If he was able to get he on the ride, he would make every aspect of it perfect. They would get to the top of the ride which would "accidentally break" and while they sat there, she would discover her love for him as fireworks explode in front of them while they kissed. It would be the greatest moment of their lives that they would tell to their children. 

“Jean, let’s go!” Connie shouted from a distance in front of him. Apparently he had been so completely lost in thought that he started wandering away from the group entirely. He jogged a little to catch up, pushing through some drunk adults to get to the table his new acquaintances were sitting at. There was a chorus of greetings and quick hugs between the ex-baseball players while Jean, Sasha, and Mikasa sort of awkwardly stood to the side.

“C’mon, sit down!” The buff, blonde guy exclaimed, sitting at the edge of the picnic table. Next to him sat a blond girl Jean also didn’t know, Bert, then Connie, and Sasha while Mikasa, Eren, and Armin came to the other side of the table. Marco, taking a place next to Armin, scooted over as much he could to offer Jean the seat. He sat, hoping that this wouldn’t take too long. Now that things weren’t going according to his dreams, Jean was a little less enthusiastic about hanging out at a carnival on such a hot day.

“It’s nice to see some familiar faces around here,” said the buff guy. Jean figured he was a huge jock with his stature, “but who’s this guy?”

Connie took the liberty to introduce Jean to everyone else. “Jean, this is Reiner, Annie, Bert, and you’ve already met Marco.”

“Wait, does no one else need introduction?” Jean asked, looking over to Mikasa and Sasha.

“Nah, we’ve met the guys before when we went to games. Jeez Jean I had no idea you missed out so much,” Sasha replied. Everyone laughed a bit and Jean looked away, embarrassed.

“You were so excited to get home you basically missed out on everything fun,” Eren said, laughing harder.

“Can it, Yaeger, don’t be a dipwad.” Jean spat at him, only amplifying his obnoxious noise.

“Hey, at least you’re here now,” Marco said to Jean, smiling widely again. Jean thought to himself that there was something about this guy that was a little...off, but he just couldn’t quite understand what made him so different.

“Y-yeah, I guess.” he stammered to get the words out, embarrassed by Marco’s kind words and the ridicule from Eren.

The conversation was brought to the center again, everyone rehashing old baseball stories and sharing college plans for next year. Seeing as how everyone has already graduated, it’s been the topic of discussion since summer began.

Suddenly, a guitar chord ripped through the air, making almost everyone jump a little in their seats.

“HELLO EVERYBODY!” a voice shouted from the stage, long hair covering the face of the assumed lead singer.

“Oh god, this guy is going to burst our ear drums,” Armin practically shouted over the beginning of the song the band had begun to play. Their hands moved to cover their ears as the scowled.

“Let’s take this to the beach across the street, that’s where the fireworks will be anyway. You guys down for that?” Reiner asked, starting to stand up. Everyone nodded, stepped over the picnic table and started walking towards the exit of the carnival. Jean stayed toward the back of the group, silently saying his goodbyes to the ferris wheel he would never be able to sit on with Mikasa.

“-music, Jean?”

“What?” Jean turned his head forward again trying to find the face of whoever just talked to him, discovering it was Marco on his left.

“I asked if you like this type of music.” Marco smirked at Jean and faced forward again.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, it’s most preferred. I listen to a lot of stuff though. As Sasha so kindly pointed out I don’t go out too often so I usually listen to a lot of different types of music at home.”

Marco nodded, “boss. For me, it’s a little too much, but it seems like I won’t be able to help but listen to it. This guy’s havin’ a cow.”

As they made their way through the exit and across the street to the beach, the music, although softer than before, could still be heard from probably even miles away. Jean and Marco made small talk while they walked. They found it incredibly easy to talk to each other. Usually chit chat was stressful but they both discussed their music tastes for a while and touched on other subjects with ease.

The sun had already begun to set by the time everyone settled into the sand. Surprisingly they were able to find enough room for the 10 of them to watch the fireworks. The beach had been particularly busy since it was such a well done show and practically the entire town wanted to be on the beach to watch it. Sitting in a semi-circle, everyone continued to joke around until the show began just after dusk.

“Where did you say you were going to for college again, Jean?” Marco asked, turning towards Jean who was looking at his toes that he buried into the sand.

“I’m going to Sina University.”

“Wow, really? That place is really nice...and competitive, right? " Marco thought to himself for a moment, "so, you’re sort of a brainiac, aren’t you?” He grinned and rested his hand against his face, leaning his arm on his crossed leg.

Jean laughed at that. “I wouldn’t consider myself a brainiac, I just got lucky in all honesty.”

“If you say so. I thought about applying myself but Sina is just too outside my budget, being a private college and all, so I settled on Rose.”

“It sounds like you’ll have a good time there since basically everyone else is. I still don’t really know her but Annie said she was going to Sina too, so maybe I should befriend her more.” Jean glanced at her; she was talking with Reiner and Connie and thought he caught a small smile on her face.

“Good luck.”

“Huh?” He turned to look at Marco again.

“She’s got kind of a rough shell, if you haven’t noticed. I’m surprised she’s willing to leave Bert and Reiner for another college. The three of them are all so attached at the hip it’s kind of freaky.”

“What’s that like,” Jean laughed half heartedly.

“Being close to someone?" Marco raised his eyebrows and slipped his hand off his face. "Have you ever been able to call someone your best friend or anything?" Jean nodded and shrugged, "seriously? No late night phone calls or video games, no secret sharing? None of that?”

“Not really. I mean, I've hung around Connie long enough and consider him a good friend but I don’t think he’s best friend material for me.”

“That’s really a shame. You know what, I’ll be your best friend, Jean. Hope that's alright.” Marco stared into Jean’s eyes again like he did earlier that day, only this time a lot more relaxed that it was even comforting to Jean. Marco smiled, laughed and looked up as soon as he heard the first boom of the fireworks. Jean’s gaze lasted a little longer over Marco’s face, analyzing every freckle, noting every facial expression he made after another firework went off. Realizing he’d been looking too long, his head snapped back towards the fireworks, watching a red and green burst, creating a heavy pounding in his heart. However, even after the boom, it stayed there. Jean curiously felt his heart beat, looked over at Marco and the rest. All of whom, except Annie who barely had the corners of her mouth turned up, were smiling towards the sky. Jean faced forward again, got over the weird feeling and watched the rest of the fireworks show silently until it had ended with it’s grand finale.

Everyone then stood up, families around them packing up for the trip to the cars.

“Well guys,” Connie said, placing his hands on his hips, “I’m gonna have to call this quits. My mom’s making me wake up early to help her with some volunteer stuff she’s doing. But hey, wait, Reiner, Bert, can I get your phone numbers? I want to make sure we hang out again before college starts.”

“Sure man, but I don’t have paper or a pen or anything.” Reiner said, patting the pockets of his shorts.

“I do!” Marco excitedly unzipped his fanny pack, taking out a small notepad of paper and a pencil and handing it to Reiner.

“Bitchin’.” Connie said, taking Reiner and Bert’s slips of paper that held their home phone numbers on them. “I’ll be giving you guys a call sometime soon. Peace!” Shoving the pad and pencil back to Marco, Connie took off towards the gate of the beach, quickly fitting his way around sleepy children and even sleepier parents.

“We’re gonna head off too, nice seeing everyone, and meeting you, Jean.” Reiner said with a wave.

“Wait, I’ll walk with you guys, one sec,” Marco said, turning to Jean. “Here,” handing Jean the paper, “write your number down. We're going to hang out and make this best friend thing official, yeah?” Jean hesitatingly took it from him, and started scribbling down the numbers. “Thanks,” putting everything back in his fanny pack he waved, “I’ll talk to you soon!”

Jean waved goodbye to him and the rest of the friends that were leaving.

“We’re all out too. I know you live the opposite way, will you be okay?” Mikasa asked Jean.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, see you guys.” Watching them go, Jean’s heart sang a little for Mikasa asking about his safety. Jean only lived a few blocks from the the beach, actually living on the lake itself. His parents had very well off jobs, making his acceptance and payments to Sina easier, and his home a nicely furnished one.

Contemplating the day’s events during his walk home, Jean actually felt pretty good. Very tired, but satisfied. His thoughts wandered through meeting Marco and the rest of the baseball team, and then back to Marco promising their friendship together. He felt the pounding in his heart again as if another firework had been set off and heat slowly rise on his face.

What is with this guy? Something is definitely off about him but Jean could still not figure out what the hell it was.

Maybe it was the fanny pack.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carnival setting, the cigarette, and the fanny pack are 100% true. I'm a little ashamed that my dad would wear something like that but hey thank god he did or I wouldn't be alive.  
> I also texted my mom asking for slang from the 80s so this is coming straight from the source, folks.  
> Also I have a tumblr: aotakemealive.tumblr.com So if you want you can check it out, I guess, what ever you want.  
> I'm in college myself and have no class on Friday's so I plan to keep this going! Please kudos if you like it! It's my life blood.  
> See you next chapter!


	2. Cravings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those being so kind to me! Even getting a hit makes me incredibly happy and dedicated to this story even more, so thank you for clicking! Again, I’m aotakemealive on tumblr too if you want insight on my writing processes and a lot of jeanmarco love. Enjoy~

  
  


Jean woke up that Sunday morning content. Since the night of the carnival, none of his friends had contacted him. Two days have gone by without interruption which to Jean was perfectly okay. Too much of his friends at one time tired him out and he liked having time to himself.

He figured despite the fact that wasn’t going to see anyone today that he should shower. Even being in his house all day, going no where near any beams of sun, it was still incredibly hot and gross. He made his way from his bedroom down the hall to the bathroom he designated as his own. Jean had no other siblings and his parents had their own master bathroom tied to their bedroom that he made the one in the hallway “Jean Only”. The only time he was ever willing to give it up was if his parent’s had guests staying the night, much to Jean’s dismay.

He closed the door behind him and turned to look in the mirror. His bedhead was still everywhere and his eyes were a little sullen probably from staying up late reading his comic books. He grabbed the ends of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing the shirt into the hamper behind him. He caught a glimpse of his shirtless self as he turned to turn the shower on and briefly thought about the kid he met with all the freckles across his face. Jean has never encountered with someone who didn’t have more than a few across their nose in the summer. Did his freckles go everywhere? Like, everywhere everywhere?

Jean shook his head as if to etch-a-sketch erase away the thought. He stripped himself from his remaining clothes, his boxers and socks that, and hopped into the shower. It was burning hot despite and the intensity of the sun outside, Jean didn’t mind. If anything the sensation made him more awake.

He finished washing quickly, patted himself down and tied the towel around his waist. Before opening the door, looked at himself in the mirror again. He fingered through his hair not sure if he wanted it to rest nicely or just go anyway it want. Realizing it didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to see anyone today, he stepped out into the hallway and back into his room. Finding the most easily accessible clothing from his closet, Jean grabbed a free graduation t-shirt his high school gave everyone and a pair of plaid shorts resting a few inches above his knee.

He briskly stepped down the stairs, through the living room and into the kitchen. Not very hungry, Jean put some bread in the toaster and took butter out from the fridge. Waiting, he glanced out the kitchen window showing the backyard and the dock leading to the lake. There were already people out fishing or speeding around on their boats. Jean spotted a few kids on paddle boats and could practically hear their shrieks as their friends splash water at them from outside the boat. The toaster startled Jean back to attention. He grabbed a knife from the drawer he was resting his hip on and started spreading the butter on his toast.

The microwave read 12:30pm.

 

*

The small twin bed barely held Marco. His legs were cascading over the edges with his sheets tangled beneath him and falling from the bed themselves. Waking up from sleeping on his belly, he propped himself up on his elbows, and rubbed his face with both hands. His hair on end, going every which way so it was just a black fuzz ball resting on the top of his head. He looked around his room and to his alarm clock on the nightstand next to his bed that blinked 12:45PM. Also on his nightstand was rested a small sheet of paper, his own landline phone (that he had to beg his parents for), and a small lamp. Marco’s floor was relatively clean, only a shirt and a stray sock in front of his dresser across from his bed. He finally sat up, getting to his knees to sit back onto his feet and stare out the window behind his bed. The sun poured into the room, making Marco squint his eyes until they readjusted to the warmth on his face.

He hadn’t dreamed of anything particular last night, nothing that he could at least remember, but he still felt positivity radiating through his body. It was going to be a good day.

He got out of bed, cracking bones as he stepped onto the beige carpeting of his floor. First twisting his back, bending his fingers, and turning his head left and right he reveled in the noises of his bones popping. He stretched, hands raised all the way to the ceiling revealing the bottom part of his stomach from his shirt. A toned stomach, covered in freckles with dark hairs leading to underneath his boxers.

He moseyed his way to his dresser, placing his elbows on top and turned to look outside. His windows lead to nowhere interesting, only to the siding of his neighbours house. He lifted his arms and pulled out the top drawer and took out one of his old shirts he cut into a tank top. Even if he wasn’t doing anything today, he was incredibly warm and didn’t want his clothes sticking to him. Lifting his shirt off himself, he tossed it behind him, blindly aiming to the hamper at the end of his bed. Closing the top drawer and opening a bottom, he pulled out a pair of plain white shorts and put them on.

Marco felt accomplished being dressed, but now he felt obligated to do something since he bothered changing. The night before he was at Reiner’s house where they just hung out, watched a scary movie or two and invited Bert over, telling him to bring pizza. It was relaxing but now Marco wanted to do something more. This energy was flowing through him that made him want to jump around or run or anything, really. His eyes shifted towards the piece of paper laying on his nightstand. He went and sat on the unmade bed, taking the sheet in his hands and looking at the numbers messily scrawled with pencil. Marco picked up his phone in his right hand and dialed with his left, pausing every so often to memorize the next small set of numbers written on the paper.

It rang twice and clicked.

“Hello, Kirschtein residence, Jean speaking.”

“Jean!”

He heard a quick cough and choking noise.

“Is this Marco?” Marco smiled at that, feeling special that Jean could tell it was him just by the sound of his voice. Special in that he felt memorable, not special in that it was Jean, he briefly thought.

“Yeah! How’s it going, man? Been a while. Doing anything today?”

“I don’t have anything planned, no. I haven’t been doing much recently so...”

Marco inwardly laughed at Jean, his honesty made Marco really enjoy talking to him.

“Well let’s do something then! I have a lot of energy and am wicked bored.”

“I’m really not good with coming up with plans. Uh...” Jean trailed off, making thinking noised. Marco imagined him taking a fistful of his hair pulling as if to help him think better.

“How about we toss a frisbee or catch or something? I want to be outside, it’s great outside. Hey, I’ll call Connie too and see if he wants to join. What do you think of that?”

“Sounds good. Where is this taking place?”

“I don’t have a big backyard or anything, so it can’t be at my house.”

“What about the park? There might be a lot of kids around but there’s a lot of room.”

“That’s great! Okay, I’m going to call Connie. Meet at the park at, like, one thirty?”

“Sure. See you then.”

“Yep!” Marco brought the phone down from his ear but shouted suddenly, “Jean, wait!”

“What?” Jean’s voice was muffled from bring the phone back to his face again so quickly, almost smacking himself.

“Sorry to ask you of this but, do you have a car?”

“Yeah, do you need to hitch a ride?”

“...please.,” Marco mumbled, a little embarrassed.

“No problem, man. Where do you live?”

That made Marco’s spirits raise again. He told Jean and they hung up while Marco was pulling out a small black notebook that held the phone numbers of his friends. Finger pushing down the receiver button, Marco searched for Connie’s number with his other hand. Finding it, he punched in the numbers and listened to the ringing.

“Hello?” The o was dragged out, telling Marco it was probably Connie on the other end.

“Connie? It’s Marco.”

“Hey man, how’s it shakin’?”

“Good. Want to toss a frisbee around at the Park? I called up Jean and he’s up for it, what do you say?”

“Sounds fun, what time?”

“One thirty.”

“Hmm, alright. I’m probably going to be a little late, I’m helping my dad clear out the garage but I’ll try and be quick. Hey, should I call Eren or something?”

“That’d be boss!”

“Bitchin’. I’ll see you around one thirty then, bye”

“Bye.”

Marco placed the phone back on the receiver and looked back at his clock. It was 12:55pm.

*

Jean look at the phone resting in the holder. Chugging down the last of his chocolate milk, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and placed the glass in the sink.

“Who was that?”

Jean walked back into the living room and rested his foot on the bottom stair and put his hand on the railing. “A friend. We’re going to the park soon.”

“Are you driving?” Jean side eyed his father sitting on the loveseat in the corner of the room next to the fireplace.

“I would like to, is that okay?”

“Fine by me. Be safe and the rest.”

“I will.”

“And tell your mother what you’re doing while you’re up there.” Jean made his way up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. Stopping by his room, he put his socks and Chucks on, tying them lazily. He grabbed his wallet and keys from his desk beside his bed and stuffed them in his back pocket. Closing the door to his room, he walked across the hall and knocked on the door that lead to his parents room.

“Maman?” Jean asked through the door.

“Quoi?” He opened the door and looked at her. She was still in bed, taking her free day very seriously by never bothering to leave the room until she was hungry. The white fluffy sheets rested around her legs and a book in her lap. She lowered her reading glasses from her nose to look Jean in the eyes.

“Papa told me to tell you I’m going out with some friends this afternoon.”

“Okay,” she said, her accent lingering on the english exclamation. She lifted the book up from her lap, dismissing Jean from any further discussion. He closed the door and stopped back into his room before leaving. It was only 1:15 but driving to get Marco would take 10 minutes and then the drive to the park itself. He figured his sunglasses would come in handy so he took them and put an ear piece in the collar of his t-shirt.

He raced down to the bottom of the stairs again and left out the front door. His dad called goodbye after him to which Jean just mumbled bye and shut the door behind him. It was hot, just like he predicted. The breeze coming from the lake felt good and Jean appreciated the location of his house for once.

For a typical 18 year old, it the perfect house. Right on the beach, two stories, a large living room and sunroom, ideal for parties. Except that wasn’t who Jean was. He’d have a few friends over, they’d hang out on the boat or something and if Jean was willing, he would drive them around the lake. He didn’t like to do it too often though, he was worried his friends would just use him like old friends he’s had before have done.

Jean stepped around the car, unlocked the driver’s side and slid into the seat. The car was a box of warm air that made sitting in it unbearable. He left the door open until he turned the car on to blast the AC and roll the window down. The air from the vents was hot and directly on Jean’s face. He leaned out the window to catch a breath and decided he wasn’t going to start driving until the AC was cold enough. Jean took the sunglasses from his neck and put them on his nose, pushing them to cover his eyes completely. He reached and pulled the seat belt over him and felt the air once more with his hand. It was still pretty warm so Jean looked around his car. There were journals and papers strewn around the back seat from when school was still in session. Loose change covered the bottom part of the cup holder in the front of his car but there wasn’t a mess otherwise. Jean’s parents were very cleanly people and he’d been raised to keep everything looking neat that it was just part of his personality now.

Putting the car in reverse, he made his way out of the driveway and onto the road. Marco lived on the other side of town so Jean got comfortable during his ride. The window was rolled up and AC blasting on his face, Jean reached to turn the radio on. It was on a station that played music similar to that that played at the carnival. “It’s a little too much,” Jean heard Marco say in his head. Being courteous to his soon to be guest, Jean searched for another music channel and settled on one that was playing Kiss by Prince. Turning on Marco’s street, he looked for a house with 310 on the mailbox at the end of the driveway. Finding it almost immediately, Jean pulled in and put the car in park. He looked at the clock. 1:20pm. Was that too early? Should he wait a little? Jean glanced at himself through his glasses in the rearview mirror. Because he let the AC go full blast, his hair had become a mess. Flustered, he took off his sunglasses, put them in his lap and flattened out his hair. Deciding it was a decent as it was going to get since he didn’t bother to brush it today, he let it be.

1:21pm.

*

The doorbell chimed through the house.

“Marco, can you get that please!” a voice shouted from the kitchen. He came out from the bathroom wiping his wet hands on his shorts and answered the door. He smiled to see Jean nodding at him. He was wearing a dark green shirt from high school and black and white plaid shorts. Simple sunglasses dangled from his neckline and his hands were stored in his front pockets. Marco admired his simple look and despite Jean’s very masculine and angular features, the t-shirt from high school made him look younger.

“Hey, Jean! One second, let me get my shoes on.” Marco turned to his right and threw on his sneakers that were resting there. “Mom, I’m leaving now!” He stood up after adjusting the tongue on his left shoe and shut the door. “Ah, wait.” Turning, he went back inside leaving Jean slightly dumbfounded by his quick steps. Marco jogged into his room, grabbing sunglasses of his own as well as a bright orange frisbee.

Jean was in the car by the time Marco closed the front door again. He tugged on the door to the car but was stopped short. He bent at the waist and tapped on the glass, signalling to Jean. Jean looked at him and realised quickly that Marco was stuck outside. Quickly Jean reached to the armrest and clicked the unlock button. Marco chuckled a bit, slid into the car, and buckled himself in, putting the frisbee in his lap.

Jean looked over at him and asked if he was good to go. Marco plastered his usual huge smile across his face and excitedly agreed. Jean swallowed and looked behind him, backing out of Marco’s driveway. The music on the radio was playing and the boys talked more about new music on their way to the park. During the conversation Jean couldn’t help but noticed a craving lingering in the back of his throat. He recognized the feeling as the same when he craves a cigarette. Jean drove confused by himself, he wasn’t stressed or nervous, so why did he want to smoke so badly. Not wanting to bother Marco with the smell and smoke, he tried to put the craving in the back of his mind and focus on the small talk him and Marco were making.

“Connie said he might be a little late, clean his garage with his dad.”

“Cool. Did he call anyone else?”

“He mentioned Eren but I’m sure he invited others.”

“Great. I’m just going to go ahead and warn you that Eren and I get pretty competitive so watch out for that mess.” Jean tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, his thumb playing with the sewn leather. He was a little embarrassed mentioning his outbursts but thought that Marco should know since he’s the one that came up with the plans anyway.

“Oh yeah? Well I get competitive too so maybe it will turn into a giant shit storm of  us shouting at each other.” Marco grinned and imagined Jean and Eren yelling at each other across the field. Even though Marco was competitive, he liked to remain passive.

“I’m sure the parents around us will really love that,” Jean laughed a little and pulled into the parking lot of the park. They stepped out of the car once Jean had parked and made their way towards the open field behind they playground where copious amounts of kids were playing and parents watching sat under the shade of the trees. Marco notices Connie’s shaved head from the playground and called out to him.

“Thought you were going to be late!”

“My dad let me go, I got lucky! Get over here!” Marco and Jean fast walked over to the boys. Connie not only called Eren, but got Sasha, Bert and Reiner to join as well. “Boss, you brought the frisbee.”

“I almost forgot too,” Marco laughed, handing it to Connie who took it and told everyone to spread out.

The sun was hot against Jean’s back while he stood waiting for the frisbee to be passed to him. Marco’s cut up t-shirt-turned-tank top showed off the twist of his stomach and he threw the frisbee towards Connie, throwing it above his head and laughing at Connie’s pathetic jump for it. Jean noticed freckles were splattered along the skin of his ribs and at the top of his hips. Jean averted his eyes when Marco started to turn towards him to laugh at Connie together. He had to fake some a laugh and blamed the heat that spread across his face on the sun. Once Connie got the frisbee from the ground, as quickly as he could, he turned around and chucked it towards Jean. His toss was so unprepared that it started to angle away from Jean and hurtle to Marco,  who was distracted by Sasha, talking about the new Pringles flavor that was released earlier this year.

Trying to be the cool guy and save his new friend from impending doom, Jean chased after the frisbee. He grabbed it just in time before it would angle and hit Marco in the chest, but grabbing the frisbee didn’t stop Jean. After placing his foot on the ground to catch the disc, his foot tugged on the hastily tied shoe strings and sent Jean into Marco rather than the frisbee.

Marco let out a “Oof” and Jean body chucked into him, sending them both to the ground. They landed hard against the grass and Jean could hear Connie and Eren laugh their asses off across the circle. His arm was stuck under Marco when he tried to get of of his chest. Jean tugged but Marco’s shoulder was pressed roughly on his hand and until Marco got up, he had to kneel over him, legs in between his, looking away from Marco’s laughing face. He was in pain from what Jean could tell, but the humor of the situation healed the pain faster.

“Oh Jean, thank you for saving me, but I could have done without the whole falling on top of each other part.” Marco sat up, releasing Jean who shot up immediately. Marco brought his hand to the back of his head that hit against the dirt.

“I’m so sorry, I’m, I was trying to, I just, sorry, I’m sorry, here,” he said, offering his hand to Marco. Marco took it, looked up at him, and smirked. Suddenly, Jean felt himself falling back into the ground himself, staring up into the cloudless sky, one hand still attached to Marco’s, the other gripping the frisbee. Still holding his hand Marco took a step and loomed over Jean’s body on the ground.

“Told you I was competitive,” Marco smiled, took the frisbee from Jean’s other hand, and tossed it to Reiner. Jean stayed on the ground, looking up and calculating what just happened.

“Get up, Kirschtein, you’re fine,” Jean hear Yaeger shout to him. He rolled his eyes and got up, wiping whatever loose grass was stuck to his pants.

As the frisbee was being passed between Reiner and Sasha, Marco looked over at Jean. “Sorry about that, friend.” Jean side eyed him and although his apology sounded genuine, Marco’s wide smile and eyes hidden behind his sunglasses said otherwise.

“It’s no big whup.” Jean said, voice bordering on sarcasm with a smile to counteract Marco’s.

*

Two hours had passed since they started playing and everyone but Marco was sweating through their shirts. Sasha, obviously not put off by the plethora of men she was surrounded around, wore her sweat proudly, commenting on how far down her armpit stain went on her tank top. Marco’s tank only clung to him around his collar bones, sweat shimmering off of his cheekbones and dark shoulders. Jean opted to take his shirt off, not wanting to completely soak it sweat and have to surround himself in it on the car ride home. Eren ridicule him, saying that Jean only wanted to look cool to any girls that walk by. “Even with my shirt on, I do better than you, Yeager,” Jean mocked, putting his hands on his hips and laughing. Everyone else in the group groaned while Jean and Eren shouted insults at each other. The frisbee hadn’t been tossed in a while and rested in the middle of the circle while everyone just stood around and talked.

“Guys, I’m crazy hungry, let’s go somewhere.”

“Yes!” Sasha shouted, agreeing with Connie almost immediately after he finished his sentence. “McDonald’s,” she suggested, “I would kill for a milkshake and some fries right now.”

Grabbing his shirt, Jean put his shirt over his head. Marco, waiting for his driver, watched Jean fit his head through the hole and stick his arms into the sleeves. His shirt was getting stuck from sticking to Jean’s sweaty torso, showing off his thin stomach longer than he intended. He never played sports or worked out, in face Jean loved to eat but his metabolism was quick and left Jean thin enough to hint at the trace of abs. Jean grumbled to himself that he would have to shower again and started walking towards Marco and back to the car. Trailing behind a little, Marco watch Jean walk and continue fixing his shirt.

He had dimples above his butt. Marco smirked and caught up to Jean’s pace.

Connie shouted from the window of his car saying that he’ll see everyone there. Jean and Marco were the last to leave the lot and pulled onto the semi-busy road. Now that it was later in the day and more cloudy, it wasn’t so bad outside so Jean turned the AC off and let the windows down, cooling him off sufficiently.

“You okay? Your head, I mean? I didn’t mean to run into you, obviously, I was just trying to play it cool. I’m a fuckin’ dip,” Jean tried to laugh off his bad apology.

“I’m fine. Sorry for tossing you to the ground, but I have to say the face you made when I realised where you were was perfect.” Marco brought his arm up and put it outside the open window, flexing his fingers against the wind. The boys laughed together, exchanged glances, and laughed again. Jean left his arm out the window and drove one handed as the turned off the street towards McDonald’s. Sasha, Eren, and Connie were in the car in front of them, and Jean could make out Sasha’s figure in the backseat, dancing excitedly to whatever song they had going on in the car.

“You even had the gall to claim you were my best friend and there you go, betraying me.” Jean thought to last night when Marco had said that. He remember his soft, warm eyes looking into Jean’s and the feeling of comfort his eyes gave Jean.

“Hey now, I did not betray you. We can still be best friends,” Marco patted Jean’s shoulder, “Please be my best friend, Jean.” Marco’s hand fell from his shoulder and back into his lap.

“Don’t embarrass yourself. We’re friends, but I don’t know if I can trust you with my secrets.”

“Ouch. Look, this may be the start of an awesome friendship, but trust is essential. What if I tell you a secret of mine? Will that make it any better?”

Jean chuckled and agreed.

“Alright, I sleep in my boxers.”  
“That’s not a fuckin’ secret, what guy doesn’t sleep in their boxers.”

“I could name 3 guys, but I won’t cause it’s a secret. Fine, I’ll give you something else. Uh...” Marco thought through his secrets. There were some he hasn’t told a soul, and didn’t plan to unless it was to the right people, at the right time. “Ah, I’ve got one. I cried at the end of The Breakfast Club.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Seriously man. Such symbolism in the diamond earring Ringwald gave to Nelson, then the fist in the air in the end, ugh, it touches the soul.”

“I’m shocked. I mean, it was a crazy good movie but tears? You learn something new everyday, don’t you.”

“Your turn.”

“What?”

“C’mon. Lay it on me. This is a give and take relationship.”

“God damn it.” Jean tried to think of one quickly, no matter how stupid it was. He’s never really shared much with anyone before and Marco was squeezing it out of him that he felt obligated to comply. “I’ve never slept over at someone elses house before.”

“What?! You’ve never had a sleepover?” Marco was shocked, and to prove it he tore off his glasses and stared right at Jean, who kept his eyes on the road. “Did you just skip over middle and high school? Hell I slept over in elementary school.”

“Well I’ve never really wanted to! What’s so fun about a bunch of kids laying around on the floor snoring and kicking each other in their sleep.”

“That’s the appeal! Eat a shitton of junk food, read comic books all night, wrestle, watch movies, sleep on the floor and draw on whoever falls asleep first.”

“That would probably be me, honestly.”

“Alright, we’re having a sleepover next weekend, it’s been decided.”

“Really, now? I’m 18, it’s not-”

“No, we are doing it and you are going to have a childhood for once.” Marco continued to talk about their upcoming plans, telling him the food they need to have, what movie to watch, if anyone had a gaming system to play. “We’ll do it at my house. My parents are super chill and our basement is furnished. I’m inviting the guys once we get into McDonald’s.”

Jean parked along the building and they made their way in. Spending at least an hour eating, and two attempts by Sasha and Connie to play in the playplace, everyone mutually decided it was time to go. Marco told everyone about the upcoming sleepover, giving Sasha advisory and telling her she can bring some of her friends if she wanted. “Eren, be sure to tell Armin too.”

“Will do,” Eren said, pulling his keys out from his back pocket. Marco gave everyone his address and told them to call him if they forgot or had any other questions.

 

After dropping Marco off back home, Jean went upstairs and flopped onto bed. He sighed from exhaustion of what felt like such a long day and sat up again. Pulling his shirt to his nose, he sniffed. Sweaty, but not unbearable. Something else was there, but Jean couldn’t place where exactly it came from?

Jean’s face in Marco’s chest replayed through Jean’s mind.

“Ah,” Jean said out loud to himself. He smelled his shirt again, his sweat mixed with Marco who smelled like soap and fresh laundry. Breathing in again, he looked around his room in case anyone would be watching him. He faced forward again and dropped his collar from his nose. Jean thought to himself that he needed to shower.

Stripping down, he grabbed his towel from this morning and tucked it around his naked waist. Picking up the clothes that he just took off, he walked into his bathroom, threw it into the hamper and shower for the second time that day. The shower didn’t last long, he only wanted to scrape off the layer of sweat he felt like he was encased in.

Returning to his room he eyed the clock on the nightstand. It was only five, the sun was still out, but it felt later than that to Jean. Exposure to the sun and running around was something he hasn’t done in a long time, but it felt good. He threw on boxers and a pair of basketball shirts and looked around for a t-shirt to throw on. He shuffled around and felt his foot touch something on the ground. He looked down figured his shirt must have slipped through his fingers when he brought it to the bathroom.

He thought about the sweat the soaked through the fabric from earlier.

He also thought about the fresh smell from earlier. He picked up the shirt and shook it out so it was right side out and pulled it over his head. Jean’s own clean smell and Marco’s smell wafted into Jean’s nose, making him feel like he was being embraced by Marco.

“Well, not embraced. More just like he’s next to me...or something. Why would he hug me, that’s dumb.” Jean argued with himself out loud. He paused, standing in the middle of his room and crossed his arms. Giving into himself, he landed on the bed again and sprawled out his limbs. Shutting his eyes, he laid there, relaxing into the mattress. He brought his hand to his collar and pulled it over his nose once more. Taking a deep breath in, Jean could feel that cigarette craving creep over him again. He swallowed hard and scrunched his eyebrows. Rolling onto his side he lazily opened his eyes and stared at his hands.

“Maybe I am addicted,” Jean thought to himself, before closing his eyes once more and falling asleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is really relevant to my parent's story except the muscle tank top. Those are making a pleasant come back, aren't they?  
> Oh and Kiss by Prince is a silent s/o to my mom because she's in love with him.  
> Silent s/o 'cause no way in hell is she ever seeing this.  
> Also I like the idea of a French speaking Jean and Jean's mom. I speak French pretty well (was my Major before I switched), but if it ever gets totally off and you know better, please tell me.  
> Anywho, I'm looking for the next chapter to be up within the week. See you then!


	3. Constant Contact

Marco’s mom was more than willing to have guests over for the night especially since her and Marco’s father finished the basement and have yet to use it for it’s party purposes. That, and if Marco was ever going to hang out with friends he usually went to them. Before Marco could object, she had already called for pizzas to be delivered to the house at 8 o’clock. She drove him to the nearest 7/11 as well to buy 2 liters of practically every soda and plastic cups for everyone. She insisted on buying chips as well but Marco told her it would be a waste since Sasha was bringing out the big guns and releasing her storage of snacks for everyone to partake in.

Everyone made their way over in one big wave at 8 on the dot, along with the pizzas. Reiner and Bert brought Annie along with them, unsurprisingly, as did Sasha tell Mikasa to come over with Armin and Eren. Jean was the last to arrive, coming into the house apologizing to Marco saying that he had to convince his parent’s that yes, he was sleeping at someone’s house and yes, he will be fine and yes, no one is going to die.

Connie brought his Atari 7800 along but the group wanted to eat and watch a movie first. Choosing from Marco’s impressive collection of scary movies on VHS, they collectively decided to watch Gremlins.

The basement was a pretty decent size and was able to comfortably fit everyone on the floor once they pushed the coffee table against the wall by the entertainment center. Extra blankets and pillows were resting on the couch and recliner on the wall opposite to the T.V. Marco put the pizzas up on the small bar his parents built onto one of the other walls. The mini fridge beneath the bar top held a majority of the soda as well as a few water bottles, all the extras just sitting next to it. Marco pointed to the door next to the wall and mentioned that if anyone needed the bathroom, “Voila.”

Everyone grabbed a slice or two, a drink, and sat over on the carpeted floor in front of the T.V. Sasha had already pulled the pillows and blankets on the ground to be used communally. No one sat on the couch and instead semi-circled around the T.V. on the floor similar to when they watched the fireworks show.

Before too long, a majority of the pizza was gone and everyone was super into the movie. Reiner leaned against the couch with his arms resting behind Annie and Bert on either side of him. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had all chosen to lay on their stomachs, sharing a few pillows. Sasha made her way onto the recliner halfway during the movie and Connie leaned back on the chair when Sasha pulled her legs to her chest. Marco and Jean both sat up, arms holding them up behind them. Jean noticed his pointer finger was touching Marco’s thumb but he didn’t bother to move it since it really didn’t mean anything.

Once the movie ended Sasha jumped up and ran to the bathroom, knocking Connie upside his head. Marco started to worry that maybe they shouldn’t have slept at his house once Mikasa called Eren a Gremlin.

Dipping her fingers into her cup of water, she flicked it into Eren’s face effectively riling him up. He tried to play casual as he went over the mini fridge and grabbed a water bottle and a pen from the bar. After poking a hole in it the top cap, he surprise attacked Mikasa by squeezing the water bottle on top of her head, soaking her hair with a small stream of water. She got up immediately, put Eren in a choke hold and dumped the rest of the cup’s contents over Eren. Armin, who was laughing hysterically got what was coming for him when Eren sprayed him directly in the face while still under Mikasa’s arm.

Everyone was clutching their stomachs as Eren started swinging the leaking water bottle everywhere. Worried about his Atari, Connie protected it with his body while Sasha ran to grab the bottle from Eren’s hand only making him squeeze harder, bursting the cap from the water pressure and spilling completely over Sasha. She stood there, mesmerized and soaked entirely through her shirt. Mikasa took her arm back from around Eren and took a step back as Sasha jumped on Eren, taking him to the ground and making him soaked as well. Marco, Jean, Reiner, Annie, and Bert remained as innocent bystanders, not willing to wear wet clothes for the rest of the night.

Marco got them towels while everyone got back into sitting in circle. “Eren, you got taken advantage of too quickly by Mikasa. She shouldn’t be able to overpower you!” Reiner commented and pointed to Eren as if he was giving him a valuable life lesson.

“I think you underestimate how strong she is,” Eren said, holding up Mikasa’s arm and asked her to flex. She did, and everyone ooed while Reiner chuckled.

“It’s not just Mikasa, Sasha and I are pretty strong too,” Annie glanced over to Reiner.

“Oh yeah? Show me what you’ve got, Leonhart.” Reiner moved over to the coffee table that they shoved against the wall in order to sit together. Annie stood and walked over, stretching her right arm across her chest, smirking. She got on her knees and leaned on the table, placing her elbow on the table across from Reiner. He did the same and grasped her hand.

Bert counted down and on 3, Jean saw one of the most amazing display of muscles he’s ever seen. Annie’s t-shirt sleeve was tight around her bicep and he thought he saw Reiner’s shirt rip a little. Jean heard Marco saying “Oh my god” under his breath while they watched the arm wrestle match of the century. The two were able to remain equal for what felt like 5 minutes until Reiner’s smirk turned into a scowl. Annie’s face remained neutral but seeing sweat break around Reiner’s hairline the corners of her mouth turned up. Almost as if the smile gave her extra energy, she slammed Reiner’s hand against the table. She swiftly stood up and placed both hands in the air, face back to her neutral expression, while everyone laughed and applauded her.

As she sat back down, Reiner just put his head on the table and wallowed for a little. Bert moved to him and pat his back to comfort him of his amazing loss to Annie.

“Now to see your moves, Sasha.” Connie said, turning his head to face her.

“Whaff-” she replied with chip debris flying from her mouth.

“I think her strength lies in her stomach,” Armin noted.

“You know, there is still an entire pizza left over...” Marco got up and grabbed it from the bar, placing it in the inside of the circle and sat back down next to Jean, where their knees touched, Jean noticed but pretended not to. Sasha put down her bag of chips behind her and practically drooled over the pizza. “Okay, so here’s how we decide this. You and Connie each get half and the first to completely finish their half wins. That’s 4 pieces each, which is easy, you’ll just have to basically inhale them to win.”

By now Reiner and Bert have made their way back into the circle. Bert, having done the honors last time did it again for Connie and Sasha.

It was an interesting show of quick reflexes by Sasha as she lunged to the box and took her four pieces and laid them on top of each other. She bit down quickly into the 4 corner pieces simultaneously and chewed aggressively. Connie decided to focus on each slice one at a time, taking big, fast bites. Even though the spectacle of gluttony was funny, everyone was slightly grossed out.

Connie was in the middle of his third while Sasha started on the crusts of all four slices. She chewed as fast as she could, eyes incredibly determined. Taking her last bite, Connie tried a last minute attempt to win by rolling the rest of the fourth slice and fitting it into his mouth whole. He took a few hard bites but it was fruitless; Sasha opened her mouth to reveal that everything was and in her stomach. Everyone cheered her and she laughed but at the sudden pressure, her stomach didn’t agree and she accidentally farted.

There was a pause before everyone burst into tears laughing, unfortunately including Connie who spit half chewed pizza on Jean’s shirt. Jean no longer found humor in the situation and sat stunned. Marco, still laughing, turned to Jean and started awwing and laughing at Jean.

“Here, here, let’s get you a new shirt,” he said, tugging on Jean’s sleeve and leading him towards the stairs.

“This is disgusting.” Jean looked down at his shirt he had lifted off his torso.

“But that was pretty amazing.”

“Sure it was, but you aren’t the one with a pizza and saliva concoction on your favorite pajama shirt.”

“It’s your favorite?”

“Kind of!”

“I’ll get you a better one then,” Marco said and opened the door to his room.

Jean stepped inside and left the door slightly ajar behind him. Marco’s room was smaller than his, as was his bed. Jean watched Marco dig into his dresser for a shirt and decided it was time to get Connie’s mess off of him. Tugging the collar over his head to avoid getting it on his face, Jean shimmied out of the shirt and held it in his hands.

Shirt in hand, Marco turned and walked to give Jean the shirt. He hesitated, lingering over Jean’s thin frame again when Jean asked what he should do with his shirt.

“Here, I’ll take it. Wear this,” Marco handed Jean his t-shirt. “I’ll go put this in the wash for you.”

Jean yanked the shirt over him and pulled it down. It was a little big on Jean, after all he was a little shorter than Marco, he just never noticed. Following Marco out of the room, he thanked him and told him he’d be back down in the basement.

“Sure, I got this.” Marco walked into a small room that held the washer and dryer and uncrumpled Jean’s shirt. Marco was embarrassed to admit it to himself, but if the shirt wasn’t so disgusting from Connie, he probably would have somehow brought the shirt to his nose and just so happen to breathe in.

But he couldn’t, ‘cause of Connie.

Damn it, Connie.

Marco threw it into the wash, poured a little detergent in and started the machine. By the time he made it back into the basement, Sasha had brought out cards from her bag.

“What are those?” Marco took his place on the floor next to Jean again, who he noticed had the bottom half of his face in the collar of the shirt.

“Truth or Dare cards. People get lame once they run out of good ideas so I thought it would be fun to bring these.”

Connie pulled out the first card, “Sasha, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“‘Sing the chorus of a popular song that the group choses.’”

Everyone threw out some ideas like Madonna, Prince, Queen, and finally decided on Jon Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer.”

Sasha was no where near embarrassed as she shot up, placed a foot on the coffee table, and started singing into an invisible mic in her hands. She over exaggerated every gesture she made and when she sung “Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear,” she grabbed Connie and pulled him up to stand with her. He put his hand on her waist and they both sung into the fake mic together. By the time the end of the chorus came around, everyone was singing along and laughing. When they finished Sasha took a bow and sat back down next to Connie.

Connie passed the box to Marco who took out a card and called on Jean for truth or dare.

“Dare I guess.”

“Kiss the neck of the person to your right.” Marco read then his cheeks turned a faint pink. Everyone started to laugh while pointing at Jean. Eren was laughing particularly hard which made Jean want to slap him upside the head. “I swear to god that’s what it says.”

“Whatever,” Jean murmured and a quickly as he could, leaned to Marco and kissed him right below his ear. Marco squeaked and put his hand to where Jean’s lips once were.

He tried to play it cool, but Jean was mortified and felt incredibly conflicted in his head. _I didn’t mind doing that, why am I okay with that? Marco’s my friend so it’s cool but it should still be weird and I would do it again? What? What am I saying?!_

The rest of the game went well, truths told and dares done, but Marco and Jean couldn’t remember a thing. Marco kept up with niceties and talked to everyone but could still feel lips by his ear while Jean just stayed quiet and stared into space.

Slowly everyone stopped playing and just started talking instead. Connie and Eren played a few games on the Atari while people watched and took turns. Reiner suddenly shouted during a lull in the conversation and made everyone jump in their seat a little.

“GUYS! If you haven’t signed up for living at Rose yet, we should just rent a house together or something!”

“Alright, I’m just going to throw this out there; that is a fantastic idea,” Connie said turning a little to face the group but keeping his eyes on the screen while he played Mrs. Pac-Man.

“You’re serious?” Marco leaned in a little, excited by the prospect of living with his friends.

“Yeah, man. There’s, what, 8 of us? If we find a house with four rooms we could all double together and it’d be great.”

“When should we go down and look?” Eren asked and stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I have to go down this week for some honors seminar thing so I can ask my grandpa if we can do a bit of house hunting and maybe even place a down payment.”

Sasha screamed a little, “Ahhhh! This is really happening, I love this!”

While everyone started talking roommate business, Jean started to feel disconnected from the group. After all, he was going to Sina, an entire 7 hours away from Rose University and would be nowhere near any of them. He glanced at Annie to gauge her reaction to the housing situation, but she looked as normal as she ever did with her blank stare.

Marco could sense Jean’s wavering feelings and patted his knee. That took Jean out of his sad trance and he looked at Marco who just smiled sadly at him. Jean looked at him and shrugged.

“Whenever I come to visit, it better not be a total mess,” Jean said to the group, trying to get involved again. Even Marco’s small reassurance (and touch? Maybe, who knows) made Jean feel better enough to get back into the mood of the sleepover.

The night continued to drag on and around 3am was when the first person fell asleep; Bertholdt. Connie and Eren got excited and brought out their Sharpies but were stopped short. Reiner refused to let them anywhere near Bert who was sleeping across the couch, his feet hanging off the armrest.

Once the excitement of drawing on Bert’s face died down, so did the rest of the energy. Sasha got back on the recliner and kicked out the foot rest after wrapping herself in one of the blankets. Connie passed out next to his Atari while right in the middle of a game. The rest were in groups; Annie and Reiner over by the couch, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, and all near each other. Marco and Jean were the only ones awake now, so Marco got up to turn the TV off as well as the lights.

Jean was alright laying down ready for bed but could quite sleep so him and Marco decided to whisper to each other until one of them passed out.

Marco laid in front of Jean so that they could face each other while they whispered, “So, what do you think? Of the sleepover I mean.”

“It was fun, I’m glad I could finally say I’ve been to one before going to college and have a sleepover basically every night with a stranger.”

“True. Do you even know who this guy will be?”

“Nah, I only know his name. I think it’s Thomas....something or other.”

“Hmm. Well, I hope he’s cool.”

“All I’m asking for is to be able to sleep in my room at night. I don’t want to be left in the hallway if he’s got girls over all the time.”

“Oh, yeah. Man, I didn’t even think about that. Connie and I decided we’ll be roommates in the house but if I’m honest, I feel like I don’t need to worry.” Jean and Marco tried to contain their giggles so they didn’t wake everyone.

They were quiet for a little bit. “Why now,” Jean whispered while picking at the carpet.

“What do you mean?”

“Why now, the summer before college, do I finally start to make good friends before I jump and move 7 hours away from them.”

“Jean...”

“Like, I finally connect with people and become less of an ass. I’ve begun to enjoy myself and the people I’m around instead of being so cynical all the time. And then boom, you guys are all at Rose, starting your lives together while I revert back to an asshole at Sina.”

“Jean, it’s not like we’re going to forget you or anything. Come down to visit us sometime. Hell, I’ll call you everyday.”

Jean let out a breathy laugh, “don’t do that.”

“Fine, you call me. Jean, look, I’m not sure about you, but I want us to be friends for a long time. I’ll be there for you. Best friends, remember? If you can make a friend like me so quickly, I’m positive you can do it again at Sina. You’re a great guy Jean. You’ll be fine.”

Jean blushed even though Marco couldn’t see.

Marco reached over and put his hand on Jean’s shoulder. He rubbed it a little, trying to comfort Jean who was looking at the carpet. He looked up at Marco and could barely make out the shape of his face in the darkness. “You’re a saint, Marco. Thank you. For that, and for tonight.”

Marco’s hand was incredibly warm but Jean didn’t mind. He put his head down into his pillow and breathed out in a huff. Marco patted Jean’s shoulder and continued to languidly rub along his shoulder blade.

They fell asleep like that.

 

*

 

Marco’s mom woke them up in the morning around 10:30, claiming she had chocolate chip pancakes. Connie and Sasha shot up immediately and booked it up the stairs shouting about how hungry they were. Everyone else took their time to stand up and stretch before heading upstairs.

Since there weren’t enough seats at the dining table, Marco’s mother allowed a few of them to sit on her countertops to eat.

They stuffed their faces with the beautiful delicacy that was the pancakes. They were heaven and Marco’s mom was everyone’s freckled virgin Mary. They thanked her in unison and continued stuffing their throats. She giggled and told them to enjoy and went back upstairs with her own plate and one for Marco’s dad as well.

After the worst part of the sleepover, clean up, everyone made their way out of Marco’s house together, waving goodbye from their cars around noon. Marco felt satisfied from the night and thanked his mom once more for letting him host.

It wasn’t until one-thirty that post-sleepover boringness kicked in and Marco just sprawled out on his bed staring at the ceiling. He turned over onto his belly and sighed against the pillow beneath him. _Maybe I could nap. Orrrrr maybe I could call Jean_ , Marco thought, reaching to pick up his phone from his nightstand.

Faintly, but just enough for him to notice, Marco heard a tap on the window by his dresser. He got up and looked out to see Jean, wearing sunglasses and a tank top, waving.

He said something but the glass was too think that Marco just heard muffled noises. He unlocked the window and lifted it, leaving the screen down.

“What are you going here?”

“I’m crazy bored and figured you are too. Come hang out with me at my house. Hell, sleepover again, I’ve got nothing better to do.” Jean had high spirits today and didn’t want to waste it sitting at home alone. “I’ll be in my car waiting,” Jean said and walked back around to the front to his car.

Ecstatic, Marco pulled out a drawstring bag from under his bed and stuffed an extra pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and boxers, just in case. He grabbed his sunglasses and put them on as well as his shoes.

He walked out into the center of the house and shouted, “Mom, I’m staying over at Jean’s!”

“Already?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, see you tomorrow!” Marco loved that about his relationship with his parents. They trusted him immensely but Marco definitely had to work towards it.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever been to your house, Jean,” Marco said once they got on the main road.

“Yeah, well I usually don’t have people over so congratulations, you’re one of them.”

“I’m honored!”

“Oh shit,” Marco looked over at Jean worried that something might’ve happened to the car, “you didn’t happen to bring swim trunks did you?”

“No, uhm, should I have? What are we doing exactly?”

“I live on the lake and thought we could take the boat out since it’s so nice out.”

“Really? That’s so awesome. I mean, I have an extra pair of shorts I brought, so.”

“Nah, I’ll just give you one of mine.”

They pulled into the driveway and Jean lead Marco upstairs to his room. Both of his parents were visiting Jean’s grandmother so they had the house to themselves until they come home later in the evening.

Jean tossed Marco a pair of shorts and said he’d wait downstairs since he was already wearing his trunks. Marco felt a little uncomfortable changing in Jean’s room but got over it and put on the shorts as quickly as he could.

 

“Man this is so boss,” Marco exclaimed, “I’ve never been on a boat before.” 

“Seriously? Ever?”

“Ever.” Marco sat back on seat next to the driver’s chair of the boat and put his feet up.

“Well this is a speed boat, so...wanna go fast?” Jean and Marco looked at each other through their sunglasses and smirked.

“Hell yeah I do.”

They went around the entirety of the lake probably 3 times before stopping in the middle to swim, sunbathe, and just hang out. They talked for hours and occasionally pushed each other overboard until the sun started to set.

When they got back inside, Jean’s father was sitting in the living room reading. Jean introduced Marco to his dad who was pleasantly surprised to “finally” meet the friend that’s kept Jean out of the house.

For dinner, Jean’s father offered them money to go eat at the family diner on the main road. Marco was hesitant to accept but Jean happily took the money and lead Marco back to the car. Luckily the diner was still open since it was almost 8 by the time they got there. They found things to talk about despite having spent all day together. They discussed their majors and what they’re going to study at school for a while; Jean was undecided but thinking about business or accounting and Marco looked into getting his teacher’s certification for history.

Despite spending all day in the sun, Jean could help but feel immeasurably happy and energetic.“You’re a great guy, Marco,” Jean said after taking a sip of his iced tea.

Marco choked on his drink and felt the heat rise in the face, “that’s, what? That came from nowhere.”

It didn’t even click to Jean that that would be a strange thing to say until he say Marco get a little flustered. He started to feel his blood rush and regretted having said anything.

“I just, I mean, I figured you should know. You’re just always happy and having a good time and really caring, I don’t know how you do it.” Jean brought a hand behind his head and scratched, looking anywhere else but Marco’s face. “You’re going to be a fantastic teacher too.”

 _Oh God, he’s cute_ , Marco thought, looking at Jean who was struggling in his seat to continue to function after what he said. _I’m just gonna go ahead and accept the fact that I think Jean is one of the most charming guys I’ve ever met._ “I try and thanks,” he said, looking down into his drink. He was embarrassed from Jean’s bluntness but appreciated what he had to say. He needed a second to recuperate but couldn't with Jean right in front of him so he came up with the first excuse that came into mind. “Gotta pee,” he rose from the table and went to the bathroom to figure himself out in the well used room. He looked at himself in the mirror and could barely see the blush beneath his freckles. He turned the sink on and splashed water on his face as if to wake him up from a dream. _Oh no, oh no._

Marco has known for a while that he wasn’t totally into girls. He attempted to go out with a nice girl he had in his Spanish class in high school but had to break it off after two weeks because he felt like he was lying to the poor girl. He knew, but he couldn’t tell anyone. Being gay wasn’t easy and he had to be careful of how he acted when in public because if the wrong person noticed, Marco could get seriously hurt.

The fact that he was starting to like a guy was no where out of the ordinary, what made it such an issue was the fact that it was Jean, his new best friend, that he was falling for. _Fuck_ , He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand and brought them back over the counter to lean on it. _I just got to keep it cool. I can’t let him figure it out. I just_ , he sighed out loud, _I just have to try and kill these feelings before it becomes a problem._

Back at the table, Jean seemed to be going through a similar struggle. He kept his hands over his face as he thought to himself. _That was fucking stupid. I’m embarrassing myself. Marco probably thinks I’m gay or something now and is figuring out how to break up this friendship._ Jean removed his hands from his face once he heard Marco sit down again.

“You alright?” Marco looked at him concerned.

“Yeah, yeah, just tired from the all the sun exposure,” Jean said, waving his hands around his face.

“Ah, same.”

The waitress came around to put the check on the table and Jean took it immediately and told Marco he was going to pay at the cash register by the door. When he came back to throw the tip on the table he looked at Marco, “ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

During the car ride home it was uncomfortably silent for them. Usually they found things to talk about but instead each boy was trying figure out what happened at dinner. They got back into the swing of things once "Livin' On a Prayer" came on and reminded them of Sasha's performance last night. The rest of the night was spent in Jean’s room on his bed playing on his Atari in the corner.

“You’re lucky to have your own T.V.” Marco said with his tongue at the corner of his mouth while he focused on the game.

“It’s a gift and a curse. I was easily distracted if I had a test I needed to study for.” Jean was flipping through one of his old comic books, waiting to play once Marco had died.

“Are you going to be bringing it to college with you then?”

Jean laughed, “yeah, probably. I’m screwed.” They laughed together which made Mrs. Pac-Man get eaten by a ghost for a final time.

“Your turn,” Marco passed the controller to Jean who put his comic down and reached for it. His fingers skimmed over Marco’s making both of their hearts secretly race. They were quiet again as Jean played the worse game of Mrs. Pac-Man he’s ever seen.

He handed the controller back to Marco who refused, “redeem yourself. That was pathetic Jean.” He chuckled and watched Jean press start.

For the rest of the night they played Mrs. Pac-Man and other Atari games Jean had. Marco was the first to fall asleep as Jean played Galaga, even with the volume fairly loud. Jean turned to look at Marco after his last spaceship exploded; his mouth was barely open as he breathed softly facing Jean. He started to get too distracted staring at Marco’s face that was lit up by the light of the TV; he could still see the freckles that lined his cheekbones and accented the sharpness of his cheekbones. Jean’s eyes lingered over Marco’s lips a tad too long and he relaxed his head into his arms and sighed. He shut his eyes to try and shake out the image of Marco’s face that was burned there. He opened one eye and turned to look at him one more time. His faced stayed as it was and Jean continued to memorize every curve of his face until his eyelid felt heavy and he fell asleep next to his best friend.

He woke up the next morning to the sound of the controller falling on the floor from off the bed. It was morning and the light from the sun poured into the room and across the floor. Jean opened his eyes to a light blue shirt slowing rising up and down. Jean could faintly hear a heartbeat that wasn’t his and felt pressure against his waist and his leg tangled in someone elses. Once he remembered that Marco was this blue shirt, he stiffened and went wide eyed.

He couldn’t easily get out of Marco’s grasp without waking him and the whole situation becoming incredibly awkward. They barely recovered from what Jean said at the diner so if he woke him up, it would bring them back down to step one. Jean stayed still and decided he would just wait until Marco woke up and deal with it then.

It took 45 minutes of Jean practically sweating and barely breathing before Marco woke up when the sound of the telephone on Jean’s desk rang. Marco casually lifted his arm off of Jean and took his leg back and stretched, still laying on the bed. Jean finally took a deep breath in and out and sat up.

“How late did you play? The TV is still on,” Marco said, sitting up himself.

“Not much longer after you fell asleep.”

“Ah, sorry about that. I just passed the fuck out.”

“You’re fine. I-I mean, it’s fine.” Jean started mentally freaking out again. Marco was driving him insane.

Marco inwardly laughed at Jean’s clumsiness with his words and inwardly slapped himself for thinking Jean was cute again.

Suddenly Jean’s mother entered the room, “Jean, le téléphone est pour ton ami.”

“Okay, maman.” She closed the door behind her. Jean looked at the clock on his nightstand. It was only 7 in the morning, which is why Jean’s mother was still home; she doesn’t leave for work until 7:30. “It’s too damn early,” Jean said while getting of the bed.

“Wait hold on,” Marco looked up at Jean.

“Hmm?”

“You speak French?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, I can’t speak it very well but I understand.”

“That’s amazing! Why haven’t you told me?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think it was that significant.”

“That’s awesome though! You’re gonna have to teach me a little bit,” Marco stood up and went to the desk to pick up the phone. “Hello?”

Jean listened from the other side of his bed as Marco talked to who he assumed was his mom. “Yeah?...Oh shoot, I forgot, yeah. How’d you get this number anyway?...Right, I keep forgetting that exists...yeah I’ll have him drive me home,” he turned to Jean, “you can drive me home, right?”

Jean nodded.

“He said he would....okay, see you soon. Bye.” Marco hung up the phone and stretched his arms towards the ceiling, revealing the bottom of his belly like always.

Jean definitely didn’t stare. At least, not for too long.

“I forgot we have family coming over later tonight and I need to help clean the house and set up. Sorry it’s so early.”

“It’s fine. Let’s get out of here but let me change my shirt real quick.” Jean turned and opened his closet, reaching for the first shirt he could find which was a short sleeve white button up.

Marco averted his eyes when Jean took his shirt off, exposing his back, but only after briefly looking. Jean buttoned up to half way up his chest and popped the collar.

“Alright, let’s go.”

 

*

 

“I’ll see you eventually,” Jean said when he put his car in park in Marco’s driveway.

“Yeah, I’ll call you,” Marco looked at Jean, who took his sunglasses off and smiled at him. Jean maintained eye contact and waved with his hand and smiled back but not without a blush spreading across his cheeks. Marco chuckled as he opened the car door, “Bye, Jean.”

“Bye, Marco,” he said before Marco shut the door and walked into his house.

Jean buried his head in his hands once more. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself.  _He’s too goddamn cute for this to be normal._

He drove home without music to sift through his feelings. He didn't want it to be true, the fact that he was so enamored of Marco, but couldn't shake the feeling of happiness and comfort whenever Marco was around. Up until now, he had been as straight as he could imagine because of Mikasa but since school has ended he didn't think he would see much of her, his feelings started to dwindle. Instead, it has started become filled by Marco's presence.

Jean couldn't believe it but he was in fact falling for his best friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) This chapter was hell for me at times. I kept pausing in between scenes to write the next chapter where v important stuff happens (laughs into the void). And so, since that chapter is practically half way done it might be a 2 chapter update weekend like last time. We'll see if my homework will comply.  
> 2) Fuck flappy bird, yo.  
> Happy February everyone!


	4. Relieved Lungs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it helps when updating twice in the same night to already have half of it written hahaha, im a mess. enjoy!

The summer past quickly as Marco and Jean both grew more frustrated with each other and their secret feelings that only continued to grow. Marco continued to be the nicest person to walk the planet and Jean couldn’t help but compliment Marco on anything he did.

Rose University’s first day of classes was August 17th so everyone decided to get together one last time before they left to “The House” that Armin found with his grandfather. August 14th, that Friday they would sleep over at Marco’s house before packing up and leaving.

The day before, Jean and Marco decided they would get quality best friend time in before they shared the company of others. Getting up at 9, Jean excitedly got ready for their entire day together. He was to pick Marco up at 9:30 for breakfast at their favorite diner then go fishing and relax on the boat until lunch where they would go to a chinese buffet and pig out. Next, they would go to an arcade and play until they were hungry again and visit a small hot dog and burger place along the main road, get dessert at the town’s famous soft serve and drive Marco back home.

It all went according to plan. It was a bittersweet day for the boys for every time they were at the peak of their happiness, the realization of their imminent separation creeped into the back of their minds to bring them back down. 

For Marco, it was one of the most difficult days of his life. Jean had gotten tan from being outside all summer and even a little burnt along his cheeks and nose, turning it a little red and making Jean even more handsome. Marco remained determined throughout the summer to completely sever any thoughts of being with Jean from his mind but Jean being attached to his hip almost everyday practically killed him and that idea.

 

One day he swore he was finally over him before Jean completely crushed the belief. Marco never told Jean when his birthday was and since they met each other so close to it, he only had a small celebration with his parents since he didn’t like having extravagant parties in his honor anyways.

Marco opened his door one day to see Jean standing there with a wide smile around 7pm in the middle of the Summer, holding 5 balloons of varying colors.

“What’s going on?” Marco asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Celebrating your birthday. It’s a little late though, hope you don’t mind,” Jean said, handing the balloons to Marco who reluctantly took them.

“Jean, you didn’t have to-”

“Shush, go put those in your room, and get in my car,” Jean winked and turned and walked away from Marco.

Jean treated him to dessert and took him to a drive-in theater to see a movie. Jean had them sit on the hood of his car despite Marco worrying that his butt would dent it. Afterwards, Jean brought them to an arcade and they played until the placed closed at midnight. When Jean pulled into Marco’s driveway, he told him to wait one sec and turned to his back seat to reach behind his chair. It wasn’t wrapped, which was very much like Jean, but Marco obviously didn’t mind.

“Honestly, I had no idea what to get you. Shopping for people is usually pretty easy for me but you were difficult for some reason.”

The reason is because he didn’t want to embarrass himself with an awful gift to Marco so he ended up overthinking everything he picked up.

“So first, this is a mug for your future teacherdom.” Marco took the mug and read it. In plain black text on one side of the mug it read “Teaching history is old news.” Marco bit his lip and raised his eyebrows. It was such an awful pun but so heartfelt from Jean that Marco almost thought he was going to cry once he started laughing. “I’m assuming you love it, good. I also got you this for your room in The House, to decorate, you know. Or your classroom, I don’t know.” It was an extremely detailed poster of the world map made to almost look as if it’s been around for 100 years.

“These are fantastic Jean, thank you.” Marco put the mug and rolled poster in his lap and turned to Jean and pulled him into a hug. Marco tried to ignore the pounding he felt, “Thank you for today, you’re amazing,” he said as he pulled away. The wall Marco tried to build crumbled and his feelings were rushing again through his body making him feel electric.

“Anytime, Marco, you’re amazing yourself. Happy belated birthday.” Jean had turned a little pink in his cheeks as well but ignored it. They smiled to each other and said goodbye as Marco stepped out of the car with his gifts.

When Marco got back inside he placed his gifts on his dresser and sat down at the edge of his bed. Putting his elbows on his knees, he combed his hands through his hair, frustrated and hopelessly in love again.

 

Marco wasn’t making it any easier for Jean too, who was first dealing with the fact that he might be gay and also the fact that he spends everyday with one of the most attractive guys Jean believed to ever exist.

One night at one of many of Reiner’s bonfire gatherings, Jean and Marco spent the entire night by the fire where Jean finally had to accept his attraction to Marco. They sipped on their beers provided by Reiner, whose parents were gone for the night for this particular gathering, and talked while watching quite a few people get a little too crazy.

Jean didn’t consider himself much of a drinker, nor did Marco, so they both got a little tipsy and discussed relationships with their family, their fears, and a multitude of other topics only close friends touch on. Jean couldn’t help but sometimes get distracted by the way the fire light up Marco’s cheeks and dark eyes, practically inviting him to stare into them for eternity.

Jean sobered up before he drove Marco back to his home. He told Marco to keep drinking if he wanted to, he just wanted to make sure they’d be safe. By the end of the night Marco had accidentally passed tipsy and needed Jean’s help back into his house. When he finally got Marco to lay back in his bed, Marco grabbed Jean by the collar and forced him to sit.

“Jjjjjean,” Marco slurred and blinked slowly.

“Yes, Marco.”

“I need to tell you something I haven’t told anyone ever. Okay? And it’s a secret so shhhhhhh.”

“Yeah, I got it, what are best friends for anyway.”

“You promise?”

“Of course.”

“Pinky promise,” Marco said, raising his hand with his pinky pointed out.

Jean curled his pinky around Marco’s, “Now, what?”

“I’m...gaaayyyy.” Jean blinked and his mouth hung open a little bit.

“A-are you really?”

“Yesshh.” Marco dropped his hand back onto the bed and looked at Jean’s surprised face.

Jean needed a second to process everything. He decided today that he was gay, at least for Marco, and now Marco just said he was gay, erasing every worry that he would completely deny Jean and stop being his friend if he ever confessed his feelings to him.

“Oh no, do you hate me now?” Marco frowned and even pouted a little before he curled into a ball and laid facing away from Jean.

“No, God no. Marco, I’m not close-minded like that, I’m just surprised and honored that you told me,” Jean said, trying to comfort Marco by putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Good,” Marco brought his hand up and patted Jean’s. Once his hand fell back by his face again, Jean could hear small snores coming from Marco.

On his drive home, Jean couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful about the possibility of dating his best friend. He turned up his music and jammed before he got home.

The next day Marco reluctantly called Jean to tell him he unfortunately remembered everything. Jean reassured him that he was totally cool with who Marco was and that nothing would change. He was hesitant to believe him, even apologized a few times, but eventually thanked Jean for being so kind about the situation. They next time they saw each other in person, they tried their best to keep it normal which only made it slightly awkward for the first five minutes they interacted. They got over it quickly though, and got along as they once did.

 

Getting back from eating soft serve, Jean was anxious as he pulled up the driveway.

“Come inside real quick and grab this shirt that I’ve had since you first slept over.” Marco stepped out of the car and shut the door. Jean watched Marco step to the path leading up to his house and turn around and wait for Jean to get out of the car. He was smiling and put his hands on his hips.

 _Fuck_ , Jean thought to himself. Here was his best friend, standing, somehow super adorabley, waiting for him to get out, grab his shirt and go. But that was too simple. Marco had been racing through his mind since the first day they’ve met and Jean couldn’t deny it anymore. The craving in the back of his throat had been strong and burning since early June.  He knew he liked Marco, that he was hopelessly in love and that if he never told him, it might kill him.

“Duuuuude!” Marco had walked back to the car and tapped on the windshield where Jean was staring.

“Ah, sorry, I spaced,” Jean said, stepping out of the car after taking the keys out of the ignition.

“You’re good,” Marco smiled and patted Jean on the back. He started walking to his porch that had beams holding up the overhang of the roof. Jean trailed behind Marco and watched as he stepped onto the porch, making him even taller than Jean.  

Jean stayed on the path and looked at Marco. He made an exasperated noise and put his head in his hands. “I can’t avoid this anymore.” His hands slid off his face and back down to his sides, “Look, Marco, I like you. Like, a lot, like, not...just...in the friend...way. ” Jean looked at his feet hastily. _Did I really just fucking say that?_

“...what?” _Shit._ “Jean.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. This is so douchey of me. I just, ugh, fuck, I just, I dunno, wanted you to know? I guess?"

Marco chuckled and smiled down at Jean, “Jean. in what way is this douchey at all? I’m flattered and this is really, I’m not sure this is the right word, but it’s sweet of you.” Marco thought about Jean and his incredible lack of self restraint. It’s what he admired most about Jean, how blunt and fearless he seemed to be and then when he would finally reflect on what he says and recoil. “So...what should we do?” He asked, leaning against the post behind him.

“Just ignore me, oh God, that’s all, just avoid me ‘cause this is dumb. I’m dumb.” Marco watched Jean’s blush cover the entirety of his face and neck.

“I’m not going to ignore you Jean, that would be impossible.”

“Might as well, otherwise this friendship thing is just going to be totally awkward and, fuck, that’s all my fault. I’m sorry to do-”

“Jean, shut your trap.” He closed his mouth instantaneously. “I like you too. A lot. I’m asking about us, dating, and your terrible timing.”

“Terrible timing? Wait,” Jean looked into Marco’s eyes, “you...like me too?”

Marco laughed and rubbed his eyes. “Yes Jean. I’m honestly surprised you hadn’t noticed.”

“I dunno, I’m pretty dense.”

“Fuckin’ tell me about it,” Marco laughed again and put his hands in his pockets.

“What are you talking about again with all this timing stuff?”

Marco looked up from looking at the ground embarrassed and bit his lip, “college.”

Jean fell silent at that. Marco was leaving in two days. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Marco thought for a second. “If we’re speaking honestly, Jean, if you hadn’t said anything just now, I planned on getting over you at Rose. I tried this whole time during the summer but we were basically attached at the hip so it was a little difficult to try and stop liking you. At Uni I won’t have to see your cute fuckin’ face everyday and could deal.”

Jean burned whan Marco called him cute, “I’m sorry I messed up your plans.”

“Stop apologizing. You didn’t mess anything up, its just now it gets...complicated.”

“Well ideally, we’d, you know, date or whatever.”

“That would be optimal.”

“But we’re going to be miles from each other.”

“There’s always weekends.”

Jean shook his head, “no, we can’t do that to each other. It’s only going to make integrating into the school more difficult than it already is.”

“I agree. Plus it’s expensive...frankly, should we even bother to do long distance?”

This was not the scenario Jean, or Marco, had planned. They’ve imagine themselves dating, holding hands, seeing each other everyday like they had over the summer. They both forgot that time moves forward and college was their biggest roadblock they would have to face.

“Probably not,” Jean murmured and looked down very sullen.

“I’m sorry, Jean.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Well, we’ll both be getting over each other at the same time, if that’s going to make anything better.”

Jean let out a breath of air that vaguely resembled a laugh. “A little. Don’t blame me if phone calls get too difficult to have.”

“Not at all, it’s gonna be tough for me too.”

They stood together, both wallowing in mutual silence. Jean was the first to speak up again, “I guess I should go then, see you.” He turned and took a step.

“Wait, can I at least...” Marco didn’t finish his sentence. Instead he stepped down from the porch, reached to Jean and placed his right hand on his face and pulled him on to his lips.

Jean felt the happiest he'd been all summer. Every worry, every burden, anything that brought him down was lifted off his shoulders when Marco kissed him. He brought his hands up to Marco's waist and lightly tugged at his shirt, begging for them to stay like this forever.  He kissed back fervently, trying to memorize the feel of Marco's lips on his. 

It was a chaste kiss, brief, but they savoured every second.

“Keep the shirt. I want you to have it,” Jean murmured once Marco pulled away.

“I thought it was your favorite.”

“Yeah. But I have one of your shirts, which has become my new favorite.”

Marco smiled and ran a hand through his hair, making the front part turn into a small puff.

“I’ll come visit The House on a long weekend or something.” Jean took a step and slowly walked backward toward his car.

“You better, we’ll all miss you.”

“Goodbye, Marco.”

“See you tomorrow night, Jean.”

Jean turned and properly walked to his car and got in. He waved to Marco, who was standing on the porch, and pulled into the street.

All of his burden's came rushing back to him after he left. He didn’t want to leave and go to school. He didn’t want to give up on Marco but he knew that he would have to for the sake of their friendship and sanity while at school. He pulled up to a red light and rested his head on the steering wheel. He brought his fingertips to his lips and traced where Marco once was.

He decided to stop by the gas station and finally buy his own pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sat in the car and brought one to his lips, lit it, and finally inhaled what he’s been craving since early June. Even after Jean finished it however, the craving was still lingering in the back of his throat.

 

Marco stood on this porch a little longer after Jean was out of sight. He slid against a post until he was sitting with his knees to his chest. He huffed and wiped his hands over his face.

“This sucks,” he whispered to himself. He sat outside a little longer and looked up into the sky to stargaze a little. Getting over a crush was hard enough as it is, so Jean confessing and Marco kissing him did not make it any easier.

They both went to bed that night with each others names on their lips.

 

*

 

10 minutes before Jean left for the last sleepover of the summer, he got a phone call from Marco.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jean. Do you think you can pick up Annie? Reiner picked up the pizzas and doesn’t have enough gas to go get her. If I give you her address is that cool?”

“Uh, sure, I guess.” Jean wrote it down and had to get additional directions from his father because he house in the side of town Jean didn’t typically go to. He was a little worried about the drive since him and Annie didn’t often speak to each other.

And he was right to do so. She didn’t talk much in the car and Jean didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to look stupid, so he turned up the music on the radio a little.

“Is this station okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool...”

Jean drummed his fingers along the steering wheel and kept his mouth shut until they parked on the road in front of Marco’s house. She stepped out before he turned the car off. He jogged to catch up to her before she opened the door.

When she did, both her and Jean were bombarded with confetti and noise makers.

“What...is going on?” Jean asked while getting out of his shoes by the door.

Marco stopped blowing on the noise maker to speak, “well, since we’re all going to be living together it’s pointless to make it a goodbye party for us, so we dedicated it to you and Annie. Surprise!"

Jean laughed, “you guys...”

“LET’S EAT!” Sasha bounced up and down trying to get the crowd to move to the kitchen where the pizza was. Jean and Marco looked at each other and smiled. Everyone crowded the kitchen to eat and Jean couldn’t help but look at Marco the whole time. Sometimes he would notice him back and they would just maintain eye contact until Marco got too embarrassed and looked away.

Sasha went to grab another piece of pizza that was behind Jean and bumped right into the hand that once held the drink, which was now being held by his shirt.

“Shit. God damn it, Sasha.”

“Sorry!"

“Marco, can I borrow a shirt, again?”

“I swear to God, you have to have half of Marco’s t-shirts by now with how often Connie and Sasha mess yours up,” Armin said, laughing.

“I said sorry!” Sasha grabbed some paper towels to start cleaning the soda on the floor while holding her pizza in her mouth.

“C’mon Jean” Marco stood up from one of the chairs around the table and walked up the stairs with Jean.

“I'm gonna be all sticky ‘cause it was soda.”

Marco chuckled and repressed a joke in his head, “You can wash off in the bathroom first if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’m going to do that, one sec.” Jean turned and headed for the bathroom. He pulled his shirt of and balled it in his fist, looking down at his chest. Taking the hand towel from next to the sink, he wiped himself off with water hoping he wouldn’t need to shower.

He stepped back into Marco’s room afterwards and nudged the door behind him. Marco looked over at him briefly then turned back to the dresser, “All good?”

“...I’m great.” Marco looked back at Jean, shirtless and his stare burning. 

“...You can’t do that, it’s unfair.”

“Do what.”

“Give me those eyes.” Marco said, shutting the dresser drawer without grabbing a shirt.

Jean didn't intend to insinuate anything to Marco, he was just looking and perhaps still scowling about Sasha. He could feel Marco's energy across the room however and decided to roll with it, smirking. “I’m not, they’re mine after all.” Jean tossed his shirt into Marco’s hamper at the end of the bed.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t. Please, tell me.” Marco turned and took a few steps to stand in front of Jean. Marco swallowed any shadow of doubt and uncertainty before speaking. 

“I’ll show you,” Marco whispered and put his hand against the door, shutting it and trapping Jean under him while staring directly into his face. Noses faintly touching each other as the tension between them built. “These eyes.”

But Jean was too impatient and took Marco's face in his hands, capturing him in another kiss.

This time, it was not so chaste. Immediately their mouths were open, tasting each other, nipping and biting at each others lips. Marco’s hands moved to hold Jean's waist, one skating around to the small of his back. He pushed Jean’s body into him, receiving a small grunt from him.

Marco took it as an invitation to deepen the kiss further with his tongue and drew a moan from Jean. The intensity in their kiss grew more and more passionate as Marco explored Jean’s mouth. Jean’s hands left the sides of Marco’s face and made way into his hair and on his chest. Grabbing a fistful of Marco’s shirt, he lifted himself off his back, turned, and pushed Marco against the door with a not very subtle bang. Marco smirked as Jean took his neck in between his teeth, right where he first kissed him on the night of their first sleepover.

“Do you _want_ everyone to know why we’ve been gone so long?” Marco sighed into Jean’s hair.

“Good point,” Jean said in between kisses along Marco’s neck. He lifted Marco’s shirt up and forced him to take it off, which Marco happily complied with. Jean nipped along his collar bones and up by his shoulders, finding a particular spot that drew out a moan from Marco and sucking hard.

“Jean,” Marco breathed into his ear.

“Hmm?” Jean stopped sucking and licked along the freshly broken skin and kissed his way back to Marco’s jaw. He loved to hear Marco say his name, even more so when he is out of breath and panting because of him.

“You know we can’t go farther than this right?” Marco said rather apprehensively, not wanting Jean to stop. This was beyond what he had expected to come from their relationship but he wasn't complaining. 

Jean backed up a little, keeping his waist against Marco’s but making eye contact with him. He knew that they couldn't but wanted to pretend that he could stop time in time for them to discover each other, explore and taste every inch of skin. They held their gaze as Marco moved his hand from Jean's waist to his face. He leaned down and kissed him again, hot and fiery but final.

He skirted around Jean and picked his shirt up from behind him and tugged it on. Finally getting a shirt, he tossed it to Jean who grabbed at it aggressively and made his way into it with a small scowl.

Marco laughed quietly. “Don’t be like that.”

“I don’t want to go to Sina," Jean said, pouting like a child. Marco thought it was cute but continued to speak with a sad expression.

“I don’t want you to go either...but it’s our futures and we shouldn’t bend to each others lives. We talked about this.” Marco walked back toward Jean and draped his arms over his shoulders."

“I’m going to miss you. You’re what has made this summer so awesome and now...”

“We can still call and send letters.”

“That’s not enough, Marco." Jean brought a hand up to the hem of Marco's shirt and pulled on it, "I’m serious. I don’t want to be separated from you.”

Marco pressed his forehead against Jean’s, “God, you’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“I wanted you to know, that’s all.” There was Jean’s brutal honesty Marco adored so much. “You’ve made me a better person and I’m scared that not seeing you everyday is going to turn me back into the grouch I really am.” Marco chuckled at that and put his hand on Jean's face, tracing the line of his jaw with his thumb.

“I’m not the one doing anything. You really can have fun without me you just haven’t tried yet. Give Sina a chance. If we have to, no communication for the first two weeks. If we’re to get over each other it’s probably for the best anyway.” Of course, Marco would never allow that to happen. 

Jean practically growled, “There’s no way I’m not talking to you for that long.”

Marco let out an airy laugh through his nose and shut his eyes, soaking in Jean’s scent. He's waited since June to do this and as soon as it begun, it had to end much to both of their displeasure. They stayed like that for a little longer, foreheads touching and their breaths evenly matched. Jean sighed and pulled Marco into a hug, trying to squeeze our every last bit of hope he had for them to be together so it would be easier when they see each other for the last time until Jean would visit.

Marco squeezed back and placed a kiss against the side of Jean’s head. “Let’s go.”

Marco led everyone into the basement from the kitchen where they would continue to talk for hours. Jean promised everyone that he would drive to everyone during a long weekend.

Jean and Marco fell asleep next to each other instead of across like their first group sleepover. Jean searched for Marco’s hand that was resting along his leg. Once Marco felt him trace along his knuckles, he interlaced their fingers. Jean scuffled along the floor to get closer to Marco, who just silently giggled at his struggle to meet him. They turned to meet each other and pressed their foreheads against one another again as Marco squeezed Jean's fingers. He brought his free hand up and ghosted along his jawline once more. Jean took his free hand and rubbed along Marco’s torso to settle his arm just above his hip.

They breathed together, neither of them able to fall asleep first. Eventually they did, but not before they shared another kiss, which they tried to make as quiet as possible. Marco pulled away, becoming increasingly concerned that everyone could hear them in the buzzing silence of the basement. Jean opted to place kisses along Marco’s cheekbones where he knew freckles were peppered along his face. Marco let out a breathy laugh and then sighed, “I hate you.”

“I know.”

They kissed again and embraced the warmth of each other’s mouth before pulling apart for the last time and lingered close to one another. They fell asleep like that, lips slightly swollen, hands touching the other somehow, and legs intertwined.

When Marco heard an audible yawn from across the room in the morning, he pulled himself away from Jean, reclaiming his legs. Just then, freckled virgin Mary called down this time with heaps of eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast prepared for the group. Jean woke up cold from Marco’s body heat being gone. His eyes fluttered open to see Marco sitting up watching everyone else stir into consciousness. When he noticed Jean’s eyes on him he looked down and lightly slapped his cheek before standing up and telling everyone he’s going upstairs to eat. Sasha, Connie, and surprisingly Annie quickly followed suit for breakfast.

After clean up, it all became too real. Jean and Annie made their rounds of hugs and goodbyes. Jean promised that he’ll see them all soon and that if Annie ever wants too, he can hitch a ride with him if she wanted to visit. She thanked Jean and left with Bertholdt and Reiner. The rest of the gang left as well, leaving Marco and Jean, the “best friends,” to their final moments. Marco made them step out onto the porch after Jean said goodbye to Marco’s parents whom he had gotten to know really well over the course of the summer.

When Marco shut the door behind him, Jean went in for the kill and captured Marco in yet another kiss. Not getting enough from last night, they deepened the kiss and Jean could taste the mint on Marco’s breath.

Suddenly, Marco grabbed Jean’s jaw with one hand and pulled himself out of the kiss, “we’re officially going to resist each other from this point forward.” Marco looked very sternly at Jean, kissed him one more time and stood back to look at Jean, who just smirked at him. Marco was trying desperately to rip himself of any extreme emotional connection to the kid who kept luring him back in, whether it be on purpose or accident. “We’re supposed to be getting over each other, not stealing kisses in the middle of the night." Marco recalled his worry from last night and could swear he saw Reiner smirk at him during breakfast, "especially at a sleepover, for Christ’s sake.”

“We’ll see what happens when I come over in September,” Jean stepped down from the porch and hopped into his car to roll down his window. He had been smiling smugly all morning from his success of drawing Marco to him all night. While his confidence was high, he felt an overwhelming sadness seeing Marco rest against the beam next to him for the last time. “Call me once you get settled at The House. I’m not leaving till the 21st anyway so I want to know how it goes down."

The corners of Marco's mouth reluctantly moved into a smile, but a painful one, “will do." He looked at Jean and his sad smile, appreciating the last thing he ever wanted to see leave. "Bye, Jean.”

Jean slipped on his sunglasses and put his car in reverse, “till next time, Marco.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a little bit smaller than the last two but ah, bittersweet love, it's amazing. and going to get painful probably. maybe?? who knows, except me and my poor roommate. see you next time!  
> (don't forget, i'm aotakemealive on tumblr too! plenty of jeanmarco to go around)  
> EDIT; wow i caught a bunch of spelling errors (probably because it was 4am when i uploaded this). don't ever hesitate to comment and help me out! I also messed with a few scenes, making them tug on the heartstrings more to prepare you guys for what is to come.  
> *smirking emoji* *sunglasses emoji*


	5. Disgusted

Walking in late from being out with Connie and Marco, Jean’s father stopped him one night in July. He beckoned him into the living room to take a seat on the armchair, facing each other.

“What did you do tonight again?” His father asked, putting a bookmark in the novel he was reading.

“I was with Marco and Connie. We got food and played video games at Connie’s house.”

“That’s right. I haven’t met Connie yet, correct?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s a shame. I should get to know these people that have been keeping my son out of his home.” He placed the book on the small table next to him and in turn picked up his mug.

Jean awkwardly laughed, “yeah, sorry. I’ve been thinking about inviting some people over to go on the boat sometime though.”

His father raised his eyebrows and nodded, “sounds like it would be fun. Just tell me when you plan on having them over and I’ll get gas for the boat.”

“Really?” Jean’s father was typically never this generous, “...thanks, dad.”

“No problem,” his dad said in between sips of whatever was in his mug. Jean could tell that his dad didn’t stop him to just talk friends.

“So, what’s up?”

“Father can’t just talk to his son?” He put his elbows on the arms of the chair, mug in hand resting on his knee.

“I’m not saying that, I’m saying that it’s 10:30 at night and you are usually heading off to bed for work in the morning by now.”

“I’m about to, but I wanted to have a quick chat about Sina.” _There we go,_ Jean thought. “So, despite applying and accepting it to be your college, we’ve never discussed how you’re going to make payments.” _Fuck._  

“...okay.” Jean was nervous. His parents both had sturdy jobs that obviously paid well enough for a two story house on the lake so he figured that he’d pay using his savings and whatever his parents gave him and if he needed to, find a job at school and during the summers.

Jean’s father swallowed the last of his drink and set it on the small side table next to him. “Your mother and I have started a college savings for you since you were born and have saved quite a bit. We never bought you a dog because we figured you would rather have college practically paid for than feed an animal everyday for 10 odd years.” 

“So that’s why,” Jean smirked and tried to relax in his chair as if to make this discussion seem more casual. “Then when I’m out of college and have my own place your housewarming gift might just have to be a puppy.”

“Sure, we’ll see about that.” Jean’s father smiled and uncrossed his legs. “Anyway, like I said, it’s quite a bit. And by a bit, I mean that your mother and I can and will pay for your entire schooling.”

Jean froze in his seat, “are you kidding?”

“Not at all, but of course, there is fine print.”

“Let’s hear it.” Jean was weary that his father would make him join an intramural sport or history club or something dumb. But if that meant that he would never have to pay a dime for school, he would have to suck it up.

“It’s not a huge list of qualifications, we merely ask that you do well and actually attend class.”

Jean let out an airy laugh and fell into the back of the chair. “That’s it? That won’t be hard at all.”

Jean’s father raised an eyebrow, “I think you’re underestimating what you’ll be encountering in college, Jean.”

“Well there’s what everyone says, drinking and house parties and crazy frats but it’s Sina, dad, their house parties are probably study parties.”

“Even highly esteemed colleges have wild parties on the weekends, Jean. I know, I went to a college like that myself.  I went to those parties and I know exactly how distracting they can be.”

“Whoa dad, didn’t know you had it in you.”

His father laughed lightly and took off his glasses, cleaning them with end of his shirt. “Boy did I. Your mother too, which is how we met. She couldn’t even speak English fluently yet, but she got her point across.”

“Ew, gross, stop.” Jean grimaced at his dad who just laughed back at him.

“Point is, there are a lot of distractions at school and I don’t want to see you fail.” Jean got this talk almost every year of high school. His dad wanted him to make high honor roll, which he achieved a few times, and to avoid crazy high school parties they always made movies about. Jean’s father was looking at him sternly now, elbows on his knees with is hands clasped between them.

“Pop, I’m going to be fine.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I rarely see you any more since you’re out with Marco and your other friends all night, every night.”

“It’s not like we do anything crazy.”

“Maybe not but your mother has definitely smelled alcohol on your shirts a few times doing your laundry before.”

Jean bit his lip while he recalled Sasha and Connie splashing their drinks everywhere whenever Reiner had booze at his bonfires. Fuckin’ idiots, he cursed at them in his head.

“All we ask of you is to go to class, get good grades, find a decent major, and start living well. Drink, smoke, whatever, just don’t fuck up. You’re our only son and we expect great things from you. If you turn up flat on your face, we’re going to cut you off from our money and quite possibly our home.”

Jean swallowed hard. His father rarely cursed unless he was extremely angry or stressed and Jean couldn’t tell if he was either. He has felt pressure from his parents before, but never like this, the doom of never coming home loomed over him. College was a brand new place that would pave the road for the rest of his life and he knew that, it just never really settled until now.

“I’ll try, dad.”

“No,” his father stood, taking his empty mug, “you’ll do.” He walked into the kitchen, set his mug in the sink and headed up the stairs to bed. “Goodnight, son.”

“Night.” Jean sat in the armchair a little longer, massaging his face to try and calm down.

He called Marco that night even after seeing him hours ago. Marco picked up the phone sounding groggy from having been asleep for a little while already. Jean apologized but begged him to talk.

“Of course Jean, what’s up?” Marco cleared his throat.

Jean pulled at his phone cord so he could lay on his bed to rest his face against his pillow. “My dad threatened to kick me out of the house if I flunk a class in college.” He could hear rustling through the phone and imagined Marco turning over to lay on his back so he could focus more on Jean than his sleepiness.

“Oh,” he finally managed to muster, “ wow, that’s rough. Are you alright?”

“I guess,” Jean sighed, “but for the most part...I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“That I’m not going to have a place to come home to during breaks.”

”Anyone would worry about being homeless, Jean. I’m asking of what exactly, ‘cause it already sounds like you think you’re going to fail.” Marco furrowed his eyebrows in a rapidly growing response to think of ways to comfort Jean in anyway he could.

Jean took a deep breath in and out and flipped onto his back, “...yeah. College is hard so the possibility is there.” He heart slammed against his chest and resonated through his whole body. He could feel blood rushing through his veins; his body was finally reacting to how fearful he is about his future.

“That doesn’t mean you’re going to fail. You’re smart Jean. I’ve only been around you for a month and I have zero doubt that you can excel at college, at anything you do, really.” Marco prayed that he was saying the right thing. If he had been with Jean in person he would have hugged him by now and kept a careful, worried hand on his arm.

Jean paused and let the silence overtake them so a little, “you should have seen my dad’s face. There was no trace of emotion when he hinted that he might fucking disown me.” His voice wavered so he tried to pull it off as clearing his throat but Marco knew.

"I wish I could be there now so I could see your face." Marco felt strange saying something so forward but hoped it would help Jean relax. "If I only I had a car I could pick us up ice cream from McDonald's and we could ignore everything your dad just said."

Jean rubbed his face and left out an airy laugh, "you're too good of a friend for me Marco."

They talked for an hour after that, about anything and everything to keep Jean’s father off his mind. Eventually Marco’s responses came slower so Jean had them hang up so Marco could get back to bed.

Jean then decided to creep out of the house to sit on the boat to see if it could help him relax even more so. He leaned against the captain’s seat to look at the dark sky splattered by stars and a crescent moon.

He thought of his father, of what he would do if he was homeless, and about Marco. He woke the poor kid up yet he was willing to stay on the phone for an hour and 15 minutes just to comfort and reassure Jean. For the first time, Jean really understood what it was like to have a best friend, especially one like Marco.

It was sitting there that he decided that he would need Marco around him for as long as he was willing to stay.

 

*

 

Jean opened his eyes and stared at the blank ceiling. It was morning, day 3 of Marco being at Rose to be exact and the day, nor Jean, were happy about it. The rain pattered on the window while more memories of Marco played through Jean’s mind like he was watching a film.

They started classes today so Jean was expecting to get a phone call around dinner time to hear about Marco’s day. When he first called, Saturday night after settling in at The House, Jean got an incredibly vivid description of what it looked like. There were two floors and 4 bedrooms in total with a kitchen, dining room and small living room. Sasha and Mikasa lived in the converted bedroom on the first floor while all the boys were upstairs. Marco told him about how Eren and Armin got the worst room because of how cramped it was, which secretly made Jean happy but then feel bad for Armin who would have to deal with Eren in a confined space. Everything in the house was made out of wood which gave it a cabin feel that Marco went nuts about.

“I put up the poster you gave me over my bed. With the wooden walls, it looks pretty badass.”

“I knew it would.” Jean lazily curled his finger around the phone cable.

“So,” Marco said in a peppy tone, “how was your day?”

“Full of fuckin’ nothing. It’s probably gonna be what all this week will be like; nothing and packing.”

“How much do you have left to do?”

Jean laughed, “everything.”

Marco laughed himself then sighed over dramatically, “I bet you could get it done in a day if I helped you.”

“Probably...I wish you could come back.” There was a lingering silence between the two that left Jean with a ringing in his ear.

For the rest of the week while the boys called each other there was always quiet moment at some point in the conversation that filled with silent “I miss you”s and “I want to be next to you”s.

On their Friday night phone call, Jean promised that he would call Marco from his dorm after he settled in.

“I can’t wait to hear about it all. Safe travels tomorrow, Jean. I’ve got to go now, Sasha is making pasta and if no one is watching her the noodles could catch on fire, trust me, it’s already happened.”

“She’s a mess.”

“Imagine cleaning up after her. Anyway, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, night.”

“Bye,” Jean said and listened to Marco put the phone on the receiver, clicking and leaving Jean with the white noise of static and eventually loud beeping that told him to put the phone down. He got up to put it back then flopped onto his bed and sighed towards the ceiling.

He continued to cycle through his thoughts that have been echoing in his mind since the week began; college, Marco, and “don’t fuck up.”

 

*

 

Jean went downstairs with his parents to say goodbye to them as they left campus. His mother kissed his forehead and wished him “bon chance” while his father gripped him on the shoulder, pulled him in a hug and told him to do his best. 

By the time he got upstairs again, a blond man with killer sideburns, in Jean’s opinion, was standing in the middle of their room staring at his boxes of things.

“Thomas, right?” Jean stepped into the room, his shoes squeaking against the tile floor.

The blond turned and smiled, “yeah! Yeah, I am. You must be Jean then.” He stuck out his hand and they shook. “Nice to meet you, man. I have a question for you, are you cool with how the room is set up? Like did you wanna make this separate beds or anything.” Jean looked around the room; their beds were bunked against the wall, a desk on the left of the beds pressed against the window with another on the other wall where two dressers were lined next to it.

“I don’t mind it. I figured I would wait till you got here to claim top or bottom bunk.” Thomas looked at the beds with an amusing expression of deep thought across his face. Jean smirked at the guy, finding him a little strange.

“Did you have a preference,” Thomas asked, arms akimbo turning to Jean.

Admittedly, he wanted the bottom bunk so he wouldn’t have to climb the ladder everyday but didn’t want to come off rude to Thomas, “uh, no, not really. You can pick first."

“Hmm. I think I’ll take the bottom,” Thomas threw a duffel bag on the bed as Jean inwardly sighed. “I don’t want to have to climb the stairs if I’m drunk during the weekends.” Trying to sound cool with it, Jean laughed and said he understood.

They began to put their things away and make their beds. Thomas got out his record player and asked Jean if it was okay to put music on.

“No, that’d be great.”

“Cool. You can use it whenever you’d like too, man. Just don’t break anything, obviously.”

“Really? Thanks, man.”

They got along well so far which made Jean feel better. They talked about their majors and whether or not they knew anyone else attending Sina. Thomas was treating Jean as if they had been friends for months already, which he was thankful for.

“I actually know quite a few people, this school is popular at the high school I attended. Me and a few others I graduated with plan on eating dinner together later, if you’re interested you’re welcome to tag along.”

Jean considered it while he plugged the telephone cable into the wall. He was supposed to call Marco at dinner time but figured it could wait if it meant he could make a few friends. “Sure, thanks.”

“Anytime.”

They finished unpacking late in the afternoon. Their room was fairly simple, no decoration on the walls except a poster of a band that Jean didn’t recognize put up by Thomas. On his desk sat school supplies and a his collection of comics while Thomas’ was a little more decked out with his school stuff and polaroid pictures of assumed friends and family along the wall above his desk.

They hung out and kept listening to music until 6pm, which is when Thomas promised to meet his friends at the nearest dining hall. Upon entering, he found his friends instantly and waved Jean over enthusiastically.

“Jean, these are my friends from school! Friends, this is Jean my roommate.” Jean lifted his hand and gave a lazy wave. Thomas pointed to the four friends and named them, “this is Mina, Hanna, Franz, and Samuel.” They gave Jean a peppy hello and suggested they get food to settle their famished stomachs.

Through dinner, Jean couldn’t help but feel awkward despite everyone else going along just fine. After all they have known each other for years and conversation wasn’t difficult between them.

“I called Daz earlier and he said he was having some people over at his apartment so I think we should check it out,” said the dark haired girl. _Milla? Mi- Mi-_ _something. Shit_ , Jean was not good with names and hoped someone would call her by her name again.

“Hell yeah,” Thomas exclaimed, “it’s my first night at college and if I remember correctly Daz is 21, right?” It clicked in Jean’s head.

“He is but that guy is a huge fuckin’ worry wart, I don’t know if he’s going to let us drink.” Franz rested his head in his hand and scratched his fork against his plastic plate.

“Milla” sighed, “if anything, once he gets sloshed he’s not going to remember if we grab a few drinks or not. No biggie.”

The other girl with freckles along her cheeks, which reminded Jean of Marco, turned to him. “Daz was one of our seniors at our high school so we knew him pretty well. If you want you can join us at his apartment.”

He contemplated whether or not he really wanted to go. He still had to call Marco and wasn’t exactly comfortable enough to drink with the plethora of new people he had just met. “I think I might have to pass for now.”

She smiled at him, “that’s okay! You know who to call if you ever want to go out!” She turned to look at the rest of the table, “Well us girls want to get ready, so meet us on the quad at 8?” Everyone agreed, got up to drop their dishes off, and went in the direction of their dorms.

“You sure you don’t want to tag along? I swear they keep their cool when they drink,” Thomas said casually, trying to convince Jean on their way to their room.

“I bet but I’m not ready to go out quite yet,” Jean laughed nervously. “In the future I’m sure I’ll tag along a few times.”

Thomas slapped him on the back, “you better!”

Jean thought it would be best to wait until Thomas had left before he would call Marco. They call each other everyday and didn’t want to immediately annoy Thomas with his phone calls. Thomas dug through his freshly packed closet to fish out a polo shirt to change into at 7:55. He then grabbed his keys and wallet, looked at Jean resting on his bed and said goodbye closing the door behind him.

Jean shot up immediately hearing the click of the doorknob and hopped of the bed, leaving his feet feeling like pins and needles from the shock of the fall to the floor. He sat at his desk and picked up his phone, mindlessly dialing the number he had memorized by the second day Marco left.

Connie picked up, “helloooo?”

“Connie, it’s Jean.”

“Dude! How’s it going? Marco told us you were moving into your dorm room today.”

“Yeah, that’s why I called.” Jean heard muffled speaking from Connie’s end and could barely make out whatever the person was saying.

Connie’s voice suddenly cut in, “you’ll have your turn! You talk to him everyday you can wait a couple minutes. Jesus, you guys act like you’re married.” Jean blushed and although he didn’t know it, Marco did as well. “I’ve been your friend longer than Freckles has so I deserve to talk to you once in a while.”

“Don’t call me Freckles, I hate it, ass face,” Marco cursed at Connie who only laughed.

“So anyway tell me about it! I haven’t been in anyone’s dorm room yet here but I heard they’re cramped.”

“It’s actually not too bad for me and my roommate since we have our beds bunked.”

“Which bed were you stuck wiff?” Connie asked, through bites of his dinner.

“The top bunk.”

“Did you chose or did your roommate?"

“Thomas requested the bottom bunk so it would be easier to stumble, drunk, into his bed on weekends.”

“Ahh, so he’s a big partier then?”

“I’m not sure but I think it’s safe to assume. He actually just left to a party a minute ago. He invited me but I decided to stay in tonight.”

“Connie, c’mon man I want to talk to him,” Jean could hear Marco, who was closer to the phone now and struggling to grab it while Connie tried to push him away with his sandwich in his mouth.

“Are you kidding? One more sec you fuckin’ psycho,” he shifted the phone again, “why didn’t you go, man? Quickest way to make friends is intoxicated.”

“Maybe for you Connie but that isn’t how I work.”

“Yeah, you don’t like to make friends at all.”

“Oh fuck off and give the phone to Marco.” Connie laughed and then started to choke on his half swallowed food. “You’re a good damn idiot,” Jean said in between his own chuckles.

“Whatever, here’s Marco.”

“Jean, what’s up? You’re calling pretty late.” To hear his voice again after such a long day comforted Jean.

“Hey Marco. I figured I would wait for the roomie to leave first. How’s it going?”

“Great! I have a feeling weekends will be my favorite part of the week with no classes and all. More importantly, how was your day! All moved in, I presume?”

"Mm-hmm. We've got a pretty nice set up. Bunk beds and I'm on top."

"Is Thomas nice?" Marco leaned against the countertop in the kitchen, “also what was that about being intoxicated?”

“He’s cool, he and his friends invited me over to one of their friend’s apartments but I wanted to stay in for today.”

“Understandable. Go out next time though, I’m sure you’ll meet some interesting people.”

“I planned to, mom, thanks. Actually, scratch that my mother would not say that at all. The complete opposite of it probably. Speaking of which I have to call them.”

“Already?”

Jean let out a quick laugh, “yeah. It has been less than 10 hours but they want to hear details about how I’m going to focus every ounce of time on my studies.”

“That’s impossible for anyone. I wish they trusted you more, you’re a smart guy.”

“Thanks man, I try.”

The conversation diverged onto Marco’s plans for the weekend. He and Reiner have the same math class and met a new friend they were going to meet up with named Krista and her friend. Jean wished them to have a good time, jealous that he couldn’t meet up with new friend’s of Marco’s. Marco eventually had to hang up since Eren needed the phone to call his mom or something; he was able to give them an extra ten minutes but once time was up he was standing in front of Marco impatiently tapping his foot.

“I have to go now, Eren’s giving me face,” Marco side glanced at Eren who just rolled his eyes.

“What a prick. Alright, I’ll call you tomorrow.” They didn’t say anything for a bit except for their silent “I miss you” before they finally ended their call with longing goodbyes.

 

*

 

It was a long week of syllabus talks, finding classes, and awkward ice breakers for Jean at Sina. He got back to his room Friday afternoon from his almost 2 hour long Biology lab. He would have to call his parents soon, like every single day this week. Thomas thought he was joking when he said he would have to call them every day but quickly learned that it was the hard truth.

They would pester him about different inconsequential things daily, reminders to do well and basically not fuck college up. With the sound of his father’s voice every single day since he left, anger and frustration was growing inside Jean. Whatever would come out of his father’s mouth was another insult disguised as encouragement that made him feel disrespected and untrustworthy. He was doing everything he could but instead of praise he was met with a blow to his self confidence. Even though Marco at times did help, nothing could really overcome the worthlessness he felt after talking to his father.

Jean let out a long sigh as he picked up the phone and began to dial. Thomas gave him a look of pity from his bed and went back to reading something for his English class. He went out again last night (Jean couldn’t believe people willingly went out on Thursdays even though there was class the next day) so he had to catch up before class.

He heard the click of a telephone being picked up and his father’s voice, “hello?”

“Hey, dad.”

“Jean, good to hear your voice.”

“You hear it every damn day it can’t be that great.”

Jean’s father ignored his comment to ask about school, “How was your biology lab? Do anything interesting?”

“No, we still have notes before we do any lab stuff. All we have to do before next class is read a chapter from our textbook.”

“Which I’m sure you’ll complete as soon as you hang up,” his father said sounding expectant.

Jean sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair, “as always, pop.”

“Now I want you to know that while your studies are incredibly important I hope you are making time for friends.”

Jean scoffed and furrowed his eyebrows, “yeah, sure, with this shit load of homework you’re so anal for me to get done days in advance I don’t have time to even breathe. It’s the first week of college and I’ve barely even talked to my roommate.” From his bed, Thomas silently chuckled and agreed.

“Jean, your language. I’m just trying to get you on the right track.”

“Jesus, dad, I’ve never “derailed” from this track you want me on. I don’t understand why you can’t just let me do this and grow the fuck up by myself like I’m supposed to.”

“I’m not comfortable with you thinking you can handle this by yourself so soon. You’re still young and malleable so who knows what can happened down there. I’m worried for your sake.”

“Well stop!” Jean practically shouted. He wasn’t going to be belittled anymore, this conversation was going to happen now and he would have to apologize to Thomas later for interrupting his reading. “I fucking understand how the world works and what I need to do to get by. How am I going to be a grown ass adult with my parents calling to check on me every fucking day. It’s ridiculous and unnecessary!”

“As long as we will be paying for your college it is necessary.” His voice was steady, for now, but Jean couldn’t help but find it condescending.

“I am incredibly grateful that you’re willing to do this for me but I need you to back off and let me do what I want. I can’t fucking think straight while my parents’ pestering is ringing in my ears.”

“You don’t know what you want yet,” his voice was getting louder now and obviously much more fed up with Jean’s retaliation. “We are just doing the best we can for you.”

“No. No you are not!” Jean stood now and clenched his fists at his sides, slamming one on the table, startling Thomas. “If you want what is best for me, you will stop making me call you daily so I can live my fucking life.”

“That is not what-”

Jean interrupted his father with a low, practically growling voice, “what I really need you to do, what really is best,” he took a breath, “is to fucking trust me.”

“Jean-”

He cut his father off and slammed the phone down. He punched the table again before sitting back down again, fuming with a dull ache in his knuckles. Thomas cautiously eyed Jean over his book, unsure if it was okay to ask if everything was alright.

Jean almost scared him when he turned to look him in the eye. “Are you going out this weekend,” he asked steadily, jaw clenched.

“Y-yeah. Tonight is one of our friend’s birthday. Uhm, I’m assuming you would like to join?”

“If that’s alright with you.”

“Totally chill man, you deserve it.” He stood, putting his book in his backpack and throwing it around his shoulders. “It’s going to be at their apartment at 11 so if you want to join us for dinner later as well, you’re welcome. Mina’s been asking about you actually.”

 _Oh, Mina_ , Jean finally got the entirety of her name and tried to store it in his memory. “Sure, thanks. Have a good class,” he waved as Thomas closed the door.

He slumped in his chair and burned holes in the ceiling trying to calm himself down. After a few minutes of struggling to compose himself when he thought of his father, he decided calling Marco would probably help him out best. It was 3 so Marco probably just got back from his class that ended at 2:45. They shared their schedules earlier in the week to ensure that they would never miss one another when they called.

Jean listened to the phone ring a few times while picking at the corner of his desk.

“Hello,” a soft voice asked. It was Mikasa, who Jean admittedly missed quite a bit since they last seen each other. He figured there was a small place in his heart for her no matter how infatuated he was with someone else, particularly Marco.

“Hey Mikasa,” Jean smiled into the phone.

“Oh Jean, hi. It’s nice to hear your voice.” Jean felt a pang as he heard his father saying the exact same thing moments ago.

“Nice to hear yours as well. How is everything?”

“Great. We’re all adjusting quite nicely even though Eren has already made a few enemies.”

“We all knew that was going to happen, though.”

Mikasa let out a small laugh, “I guess you’re right. If anything it has made it harder on me to balance homework and volleyball practice with helping Eren avoiding getting black eyes.”

“That shitstain is lucky to have you watching over him,” Jean rested his head in his hand.

“If no one did he would be dead by now.” They laughed and agreed before Mikasa asked if he was calling for Marco.

“Yeah. I’ve had a rough day and could use my best bud.”

“Sorry to hear that. I’ll go call up to him, one second,” she put that phone on the counter and called up to Marco in his room, where he had a phone of his own.

“Hey Jean, wasn’t expecting a call from you,” Marco said after he heard Mikasa put the phone away in the kitchen.

“Today has been shit so I wanted to talk to you cause you always seem to make it better.” Jean blushed a little and started to pick at the desk a little harder again.

“Was it your dad?”

“I don’t know how you do that whole ‘I know everything that happens to you’ thing.”

Marco chuckled, resting his head against the wall behind him and uncrossing his legs on his bed, “it’s something I developed since about mid-July. Anyway, talk to me.”

“Well obviously you’re right. I finally got the balls to argue with him about not trusting me and to try and stop the daily calls but it just turned to shit.”

“What did he have to say?”

“He just spouted shit about him paying for everything, that I don’t know what I want in life, and just basically he doesn’t trust me.”

“What even set this off in the first place?”

“He told me not to forget to make time for friends. He was completely contradicting himself and just being an ass in general.”

“Well he’s right, can’t just hide out in your dorm all day except for class and food.”

Jean sat forward a little in his chair and rested his arm along his desk, “you think I didn’t already know that? You’d be surprised how much shit I have had to do this past week homework wise. Sina is crazy.”

“All I’m saying is I know you’re capable,” Marco rolled his eyes, flattening his shorts against his thigh. “Will you be doing anything this weekend then?”

“Right after I hung up of my dad I asked Thomas if he was going out so I’m going to tag along with him to a birthday party or something.”

Marco bit his lip and continued to play with his shorts, “I don’t know if going out immediately after fighting with your dad is the greatest idea. Some of the best advice I’ve gotten from my mother is to never drink angry.”

“Tch,” Jean clicked his tongue, “I’m celebrating telling my dad to fuck off.”

“Honestly Jean, that doesn’t sound like the best idea.”

“Oh great, are you gonna father me now?”

“No, I’m just saying that your dad is just worried about you and if you go and drink all your frustration away, he deserves to feel that way.”

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and straightened his back, “Marco, are you agreeing with my dad?”

“Not necessarily,” Marco said defensively, “I’m just saying that you need to watch out for yourself.”

“What the fuck? Do you not trust me either now? Is it ‘Everyone Against Jean Day’ today?” His blood started to boil again as he curled his fingers into a fist once more. He knew he was being irrational but he no longer gave a fuck about anyone else’s opinion of him except his own.

“Jean, I didn’t mean to sound like that I just want you to make good decisions,” Marco was getting nervous that Jean was going to take this to the extreme. He’s never seen Jean mad too many times before but he knows that once he’s in the mood, the smallest things will send him spiraling.

“I have been! And I plan to continue to do so because I’m not a fucking idiot like you and my dad seem to think I am.” Jean was fuming again, heart beating loudly against his chest.

“Whoa, whoa, I did _not_ say that you are an idiot,” Marco sat up, swinging his feet over onto his floor to pace around the phone on his desk.

“Maybe not, but you sure are implying.”

“Jean, I would _never_ say something like that.”

“Whatever, you’re just as bad as my dad. Nagging and all this bullshit,” Jean didn’t feel right blaming Marco, but as it passed his lips he didn’t care since his mind was so fogged with anger.

Marco’s jaw clenched and he stood idle holding the phone to his ear. Everything seemed to pause while he muddled through his thoughts. Jean took no issue comparing his best friend to his irrational father which, frankly, pissed Marco off a little. He was not going to let this get between their friendship, but he surely was not going to let this just slip by. “Jean...are you kidding me?”

Every muscle in Jean’s body was clenched in anticipation for Marco’s backlash, but Jean was not going to let him say another thing because he knew it would only lead to more fighting and shouting. “Whatever. I’m hanging up, bye,” Jean put the phone down listening to Marco’s muffled pleas to keep talking before finally clicking it down on the receiver.

First his father, then his best friend. If Marco was just going to be an apologist for his father, he now had no one to turn to. Everything he had previously felt about Marco was flushed from his body and was replaced by blind rage. Getting worked up again, he yanked the phone cord from the wall, almost breaking it. As if that wasn’t enough, he slapped the phone off his desk and listened to it smash and clamor against the floor.

 

*

 

Jean lit a cigarette 3 drinks into the party later that night.

Instead of its expected feeling of release for Jean, it instead brought an unbearable burning sensation to the back of his throat.

For the next 2 weeks, just the smell of smoke made Jean want to vomit.  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> classic 2AM update. hope you liked it/feel emotionally conflicted!.  
> as to relating back to my parents' story, let's just say my mother and grandfather did not get along during her young adult years. the man is scary when he's angry, i don't know how she did it *shudders* and he did pay for her going to school. then here i am, student loans and all *laughs *sobs  
> till chapter 6! (aotakemealive.tumblr.com!)


	6. "They Intertwine the Farthest Star"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we're back!  
> Edit: (happy early birthday to Jean! definitely not planning on wearing a hoodie I made with 'Kirschtein #6' on the back cause that would be r i d i c u l o u s hahaaaaa, bye).

He just stared at the blank wall in front of him, bouncing his pencil against his math book. The taps got progressively louder the more he thought about Jean which was only made even worse when he caught the border of the poster he gave Marco for his birthday in his peripheral. It’s been about three weeks since Jean’s phone number no longer goes through and 3 letters have been written with no reply. Everyone in the house knows about Jean being inactive since the phone no longer rings like it once use to. Nobody asks Marco about it anymore because it only seems to put him in an even worse mood than the one he’s been in since the night Jean hung up on him.

Looking down at his empty notebook paper he started writing to Jean again, swearing this was the last time until Jean decided to contact him first, maybe even never contacting him again.

His writing was messier than usual, heated by a simmering rage and quick writing to get his thoughts down as fast as he could. It only ended up being a page, compared to the usual two, as he quickly signed his name and took out an envelope and stamp.

He scared Connie when he swiftly stood up and the wood chair scraped along the floor. Passing Sasha, hopping down the stairs and out the front door, he put the letter in the mailbox and slammed the small door shut. When he closed the front door behind him, Reiner, on the couch in the small living room, turned his head over and looked at his disgruntled friend.

“Everything okay, buddy?”

“Peachy,” Marco murmured going back up to his room two steps at a time.

When he walked into his shared room, Connie and Sasha were on Connie’s bed, him reading from an anthology book for something they had to do for an English class they shared. She laid on her belly snacking on grapes while she listened, sometimes stuffing a grape into his mouth that muffled the words from the poem he read.

“‘There need no vows to bind/Whom not each other seek but find./They give and take no pledge or oath,/Nature is the bond of both.’ That’s the halfway point, dorko, your turn to read.”

Sasha sighed as she sat up, moving the bag of grapes onto Connie’s lap so she could sit next to him against the wall. He passed her the book and pointed to where she had to read.

“This won’t bother you will it, Marco? We can move downstairs if you want,” Sasha said, taking the book from Connie.

“You’re fine. Who is that you’re reading?”

“Uhm,” she turned the page back, “Ralph Waldo Emerson.”

Marco just nodded and sat back at his desk while Sasha continued to read. He tried to focus his attention on his math due for tomorrow but lines of the poem seeped into his ears. She tended to over exaggerate sometimes to try and sound extravagant but would only trip over words making Connie laugh at her.

Marco sighed and rested his head in his hand.

“‘When each the other shall avoid,/Shall each by each be most enjoyed./Not with scarfs or perfumed gloves/Do these celebrate their loves,/Not by jewels, feasts,-’ I better get a damn feast if someone loves me this much.” Connie laughed out of his nose as she continued, “‘and savors,/Not by ribbons or by favors,/But by the sun-spark on the sea,/And the cloud-shadow on the lea,/The soothing lapse of morn to mirk,/And the cheerful round of work.” She took a breath and stuffed a few grapes in her mouth before reading again.

 

Later that night Reiner and Sasha made some sort of macaroni and cheese casserole that everyone sat together for. Wednesday was when everyone’s schedules matched best that gave everyone time to make a dinner besides instant noodles and to have a “family” dinner.

Friendly banter happened all around the table while everyone got their share. Marco sat at the head of the table and waited his turn, sipping on his water.

“Hey, Bertholdt, you got the mail today, correct? Anything good?” Armin asked, putting a large spoonful of the food onto his plate.

Bertl swallowed hard with the fork still in his mouth and eyed Marco before answering. While Marco was curious, he didn’t show it, looking as solemn as he has all week. Still, he started sweating a bit, “uhm, no, there was nothing. Only advertisements.”

Everyone at their own turn glanced at Marco. The air around them tense while he served himself. As he put the dish back on the table he looked up to see everyone’s eyes on him.

“Something on my face?” Marco joked, spearing noodles with his fork.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this,” Mikasa addressed Marco, her voice low and quiet, “but we’re curious if you’ve heard from Jean at all.”

“Well Bertholdt had the answer for you right there, didn’t he?” Marco motioned to Bert with his fork before stabbing at his food again, making more beads of sweat line his brow.

“I hope he’s not getting himself into trouble,” Armin said, cautious of Marco.

“What’s that horse face’s problem anyways? You’d think he’d be over his hissy fit by now.” Eren took another large bite and chewed quickly while Mikasa whispered to him to slow down.

“Who cares anymore, let’s stop talking about it,” Marco stood and walked into the kitchen with his plate, dumping the last half of his food into the garbage before cleaning his plate in the sink.

“Marco, we can’t not worry, he’s our friend,” Connie commented.

“If he was actually our friend he would’ve made an effort to talk to us again, but he’s not doing shit so who gives a fuck. He’s done trying so now I am too.” Marco scrubbed unnecessarily hard against his plate while his cursing stung through the air.

“Marco...” Sasha tried.

“I’ll be in my room.” He placed his plate and silverware on the drying rack and wiped his hands on his jeans before heading up the stairs. Once he was out of earshot Connie spoke up again.

“Well shit. What the hell is Jean doing, we don’t even know the whole story about why they aren’t even talking anymore.”

“I’m super curious but am too scared to ask,”  Sasha said, getting a second helping.

“Within reason,” Armin looked at her. “I wish there was something we could do”

“How ‘bout we all write a letter,” Reiner said between bites, “he’s not answering Marco but maybe he’ll answer us.” Everyone hummed and nodded.

“Let's do it tomorrow since Marco is still in class and the rest of us are home,” Armin suggested.

"They need to get their shit together. If I see Marco moping anymore I might just go crazy.” Eren said, chugging the rest of his drink.

A different conversation picked up again downstairs while Marco overheard the muffled noise. He wished things could be back to the way they were but with Jean's behavior it looked like it would be awhile before anything is going to be normal again.

 

*

 

Jean sat on his bed Friday afternoon, staring at the ceiling while a The Beatles’ album played on Thomas’ record player. The 4 letters from Marco were sitting unopened in the top drawer of his desk along with empty note packets he was supposed to fill out and study from for his biology exam in 2 hours. Instead he laid there and considered whether or not he should even attempt the exam; he missed half of the classes anyway and all he remembered from class was something about evolution and mitochondria.

“You know I can't sleep/I can't stop my brain, you know its 3 weeks/I'm going insane/You know I'd give you everything I've got/For a little piece of mind/I'm so tired I'm feeling so upset/Although I'm so tired, I'll have another cigarette,” the record player sang to Jean.

He sighed against the back of his arm, rolled over onto his belly and covered his head with his pillow.

He has plans this weekend, similar to the plans from the past 3 weekends, to go out with Thomas and his friends. He was getting closer to them, particularly Mina who had accidentally become his drunk make out friend. Neither of them intended for it to happen, and after the first time it was awkward the next morning but they got over it and mutually decided that if they ever needed it again, they’ve got each other’s backs.

While Jean was against the whole Going Greek ordeal, Thomas was all for it and was put in one of the more popular, classic frat guy fraternities. They threw new girl parties for the past few weekends which became sort of the common place for Jean and the rest of Thomas’ friends to go to drink.

On his good days, Jean was nothing but great company; he would kick ass in any drinking game they played, particularly beer pong, and actually told some mildly funny jokes to keep the crowd entertained. But on days he felt like shit - something having been reminded of his absence from Marco’s life - he was easily angered and about to punch someone if he wasn’t just sulking and drinking in the corner.  

He decided on skipping his class but not after turning the damn music off. As he shut the record player off mid-song Thomas walked into the room and rolled onto his bed shoes and all.

“I just aced that chem test so we are definitely getting celebratory drinks after my English class.”

“I don’t get how you go wild on weekends, deal with your fraternity's obligations, and maintain honors status at the same time.”

“And I’m thinking about joining an indoor soccor club,” Thomas smirked to himself while putting his hands behind his head.

“Okay asshole, rub it in.” Jean leaned against his desk as he talked with Thomas. Maybe he would join too, he wasn’t half bad whenever they played in gym during high school. He disregarded that thought after a while though. There was no way he could motivate himself enough to be active with a bunch of new people just to kick around a ball when he could sleep instead.

“You could get your shit done too if you tried, dude.”

“Shut up, Thomas.”

He put his hands up defensively, “just saying.” He swung his legs over, stood and cracked his back. “Well,” several cracking noises happened at once, “back to the ol’ grind. Be ready when I get back, cool? We’ll hang out at Mina’s before we go out.”

“Alright, bye.”

Just as he shut the door he opened the door again and frisbee-threw a letter to Jean’s stomach. “Forgot, you got mail, see you.”

Jean looked down at his hands now occupied by the letter. It was is a different envelope than the one’s Marco was using. The return address in the corner had no names, just “The House (sans Marco)”. His jaw tightened. He figured they just gathered to passive aggressively suggest he do as his father tells him. Becoming flustered, he threw it on top of Marco’s letters and slammed the drawer shut.

This was going to be a long, aggravating night spent drinking alone in a corner.  

 

The next week flew by without any emotional interruption from hand written letters coming from The House. Jean was in a fantastic mood that weekend, which took everyone by surprise as he offered to buy shots for everyone at a bar they were able to get into. Of course they accepted and may have had a drink too many afterwards, but when have they not before.

When Sunday came around, it took all of Jean’s will power to climb down the stairs to pee. The hallways lights were bright as hell to Jean, who was sporting an elegant look of only boxer shorts, smudged lipstick on his cheek, impressive bedhead, and the biggest hangover he’s ever experienced in his short life so far. He squinted through the hallway to the community bathroom, dragging his feet and swallowing dryly. He had an essay due for a class tomorrow but he knew he was getting no where with that.

 

Thomas went to class per usual on Monday, even though he was still feeling groggy and Jean opted to stay in bed all day and keep sleeping of the alcohol he thought was still running through his bloodstream.

Thomas grunted when he walked back in the room. He only had two classes today and didn’t bother to get out of his sweatpants and tshirt from last night. Before he rolled into bed again, he slapped something against Jean’s blanket covered back. He groaned and rolled over while the stinging soreness spread between his shoulder blades. He picked up the letter and stared.

This time it was from Mikasa, her name written with flawless penmanship in the corner. _Fuck it_ , he said to himself, sloppily tearing open the envelope and taking out her letter.

 

Thursday, October 1st, 1987

Jean,

I hope you are doing well. The House is as rambunctious as you have last heard. Surprisingly Sasha has not gained any weight despite eating twice of whatever Reiner has. Connie no longer has the weird mullet thing and shaved it off. Looking at him has become more tolerable. There’s too much happening to explain it to you so I hope we can update you soon. Your presence is greatly missed from us, whether it be in person or through phone.

I want you to know I’m not writing to tell you what to do or think, I’m not even aware of the entire situation, but I want you to know that there are still people looking out for you even if it doesn’t seem like it. After my parents passed away I convinced myself that that was how I was supposed to be, alone to take care of myself, but if it wasn’t for Eren and his parents I wouldn’t be here, overcoming obstacles with people who I love and love me to look over me. Thats what we’re here to do as well for you. Some of us may be more demanding of you or seem barely interested (Eren has asked about you once or twice but don’t tell him I said that) but there is still the support we wish to give you if you’ll allow us.

We care about you greatly and wish to hear from you soon.

Stay safe,

Mikasa

 

Thank God Connie finally chopped off whatever that hairstyle was.

He read over the letter a few more times, his face remaining tired with his mouth in a straight line. He blinked slowly and turned his head to look at his desk which held the letter from everyone and Marco.

He put the letter beside his pillow and turned over to nap again. It had proved a fruitless effort since he couldn’t help but tossing and turning.

Later in the day, Thomas was gone from the room to eat with the others but Jean, not quite yet ready to stomach a full meal, choose to snack on a box of cereal he kept along the windowsill. It was too quiet even for mid-day Sunday in the dorms and Jean was forced to be left alone with his thoughts.

He brought out the letters and opened them one by one beginning with Marco’s first letter. He read the first three over and over again. His tone was pleasant as he described the happenings around The House. At the ended he said the same thing every time: _I miss you. Write me soon. Love, Marco_.

When he got to the fourth one he felt the tone change. His writing was messy and he skipped any rules of writing:

 

Jean

I tried. I really have and I would keep doing so but I cant anymore. I care about you a lot Jean and I always will no doubt about it but I cant be happy if Im the only one that is going to make an effort. you said you wanted to be friends and I have done nothing but attempt at keeping it alive.

I think about you every goddamn day and got my fucking hopes up every time sasha brought in the mail only to be disappointed day after miserable day.

I cant chase after you when you arent even in sight. now Im tired and my legs have stopped moving.

if this relationship is really going to end I hope it wont be like this and youll talk eventually but to be completely honest Im not expecting you will.

not like i was expecting any less anyway.

Marco

 

 _I’m a piece of shit,_ Jean said to himself while he rubbed his eyes, letter still in hand. Acting on instinct, before even reading the letter from everyone else, he took out the phone from the bottom drawer of his desk and placed it in front of him.

It took him a while of just staring at the hunk of plastic before he actually plugged the cable into the wall. He listened to the dial tone to make sure it still worked and let the noise linger in his ear as his adrenaline began to rush before pushing in the buttons with numbers on them.

He dialed and the phone rang 3 times before someone picked up.

It was Eren, which made Jean feel relieved he wouldn’t have to deal with Marco as soon as he expected; he could have more time to prepare for the worst.

“Eren, I’m coming over this weekend, I’ll be there Thursday. Warn the house.”

“Whoa, what? Jean, first of all are you okay? We’ve been worried about you,” Eren breathed into the phone and started to get over excited like he always seemed to be.

“I doubt you really care, Eren. Just tell the house, I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, dude-” Eren tried to get out before Jean pulled the wire from the wall again. He hoped that idiot wouldn’t forget to tell everyone. He swallowed hard when he thought of Marco hearing of the news.

 

By Wednesday night, he was packed to leave as soon as he woke up Thursday.

“Are you sure you should be skipping tomorrow, man? I don’t know about you, but my profs have scheduled a bunch of tests for tomorrow since we have Friday off.” Thomas attempted at being Jean’s voice of reason since his has seemed to have left completely.

“The syllabus for my classes didn’t say anything so I’m not worried. Not like I’ve been worried about anything for a while.”

Thomas eyed him worriedly, “you’re not doing anything drastic this weekend, are you?”

“No, I’m just visiting friends at Rose.”

Thomas nodded then looked back at his notes in front of him. It was only nine but if Jean was to stay awake any longer we would be tempted to leave immediately. He settled in bed and read a bit of his comic book, his and Marco’s favorite, before eventually falling asleep.

When Thomas’ alarm rang for his 8am class, Jean got up with him moving at exceptional speed to be done and ready, jacket on and keys in hand, before him. “I’m out,” he said, saluting him as he trotted out the door carrying his duffel bag.

“Have a good weekend, man.”

 

He ignored the radio completely. The music might have helped him lose himself so he could calm down but instead all he did was focus on driving and preparing himself for any outcome. After the long drive, made even longer by those on the highway getting to work since it was still a Thursday morning, he stayed parked along the street across from The House. He breathed and opened the door, leaving his duffel in his car just in case he wasn’t allowed to stay. Jean had no backup plans but to live in his car until Marco would let him in.

 

His knuckles tapped against the hardwood a few times, hoping someone would be home, before Sasha opened the door with a bag of chips in her hand. “Jean!” she spat, taking the bag of chips with her to hug Jean across his shoulders. Armin eyes him before hugging and greeting him hello.

“Let’s sit,” he suggests, taking Jean’s elbow and moving him over the dining table. While walking Jean looked quickly around what he could see of the house. Marco described it perfectly to him.

“Who’s going to start, you or me?” Armin questioned while Sasha pulled out a seat.

“Well, first it’s great to see you guys,” Jean said sincerely, “it’s been a long few months so it’s nice to see some more familiar faces. Uhm, I’m not sure what else you’d like me to say.”

Armin’s eyes were half-lidded while he stared at Jean. He raised his eyebrows. Sasha’s head moved quickly between the two of them, occasionally biting into a chip to break the silence.

Jean closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay, look, I fucked up. I’m a douche, which is always going to be true, but this wasn’t entirely my fault, okay?”

“Are you okay with telling me what happened?” Armin still didn’t want to make Jean feel uncomfortable if he was unwilling to share. Sure he was curious and wanted to help but if that meant Jean would get upset he wasn’t willing to risk it.

“I guess.” Jean took in a deep breath and glanced at Sasha who just blinked at him. “My dad was riding my ass about doing well in school. I don’t know if Marco ever told you but the old man literally made me call him everyday. It was unbearable. I felt suffocated or like I was just, I don’t know, a puppet or something for my dad, bending to his every will. Then when I got in a fight with him over the phone I was bitching about it to Marco and he was only trying to help but I took it to far and... you know the rest from there.”

Armin knitted his eyebrows and nodded. Sasha, by now, had finished eating and brought her knees to her chest, looking at Jean sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, but that’s it?” the blonde finally said after a while. “Sorry, I mean, you didn’t talk to him, or any of us, for almost two months because of this.”

Jean laughed lightly. “Yeah, I’m really that much of a piece of shit. I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to Marco though.”

Sasha hummed and turned to Armin.

“Do you remember that one day in July when Marco thought he lost his birthday money and how he was hostile towards basically everyone and it was so out of character we thought we were simultaneously dreaming? He’s been like that for weeks.”

Jean smiled albeit with pain beneath it, “To be honest I haven’t been any better.”

“How so?”

“Every weekend has been like that Friday when Reiner’s parents left for Bora Bora.”

“Damn.” Sasha finally said, drawing out the ‘a’ and shaking her head no slightly.

“Yeah,” Jean looked at his hands.

"What about me?" Reiner had bursted through the doors, the knob knocking loudly against the wall as Bert winced at the noise.

"Jean!" he exclaimed, powering to Jean who stood while he hugged his friend who was aggressively slapping his back. Before he let go, Bert and Jean exchanged smiles and a wave of hello.

"If you guys are here that means we've got to go to Anatomy, Sasha."

They stepped out the door together talking about their test next week after telling Jean they’d see him later. Reiner and Bert settled back into the house, setting their backpacks down and hanging their jackets. While they did so, Reiner made Jean tell them everything he just told Armin. They sat at the dining table once more, across from Jean who started to feel like this was an interrogation rather than friends chatting. Jean briefly remembered that in the beginning of the summer, these two were completely random strangers and now Jean is sharing some of his most inner feelings with them. He smiled internally until Reiner clasped his hands together on the table and addressed him.

"What exactly is your relationship to each other, you and Marco?"

"...we're best friends? Or at least were." Jean wondered if he was answering him correctly since Reiner just looked at him incredulously.

"Mmhm, right. I'm supposed to believe that's it, nothing else?"

"Reiner," Bert warned, sweating a little and whispering "if he doesn't want to talk about it don't make him."

"Wh-" Jean starts but stops, realizing then flushing a deep crimson. “I-I don’t know what you mean by that,” he tried, avoiding eye contact appearing ridiculously guilty.

“Hey, man, it’s okay,” Reiner said, voice softening in a way that was almost comforting.

“What’s okay?” Jean swallowed dryly.

Reiner chuckled lightly and ran a hand through his short, blond locks while Bert holds polite smile went a little crooked.

“Uhm?” Jean wasn’t catching on, dense as always.

“Look,” Reiner began, “we’ve only told a few people in the house, so keep your trap shut for a bit, but Bertl and I are, uh, dating.”

Jean’s gapped at them, shell-shocked.

“Anyway, so what I am trying to point out to you is that these seems like more than just a quarrel between friends.”

Jean sat there still unresponsive which only charged Reiner to kick the table, shaking Jean’s arms and effectively snapping him out of his daze. If the table wasn’t so long, he would have smacked his temple.

“Can I ask who else you’ve told?” He whispered even though he didn’t need to.

Reiner sighed so Bert answered. “Just Armin, Marco, and Mikasa. Everyone else is a little...rambunctious so we’re waiting to tell them.”

“Did you know Marco was...?”

“Gay?” Reiner raised his eyebrows and gave Jean a blank stare. He receded a little.

“He told us when we told him,” Bert shrugged.

“So that’s how you knew about us.”

“No,” Reiner crossed his arms, “I’m pretty sure he wasn’t, or isn’t, willing to disclose that information without your approval. We just assumed, had a feeling.”  

Jean felt a small pang of regret for thinking Marco would be so courteous like that, even though he knew he was not that type of person. “Uhm, so,” Jean continued, “how long, you two?”

“Summer,” Reiner answered, “now lets move on.”

“Sorry.” Jean paused, pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.”Anyway, either way you look at this it’s not an easy thing to solve. I tried to think of how to talk about it with him but I have a feeling what ever he’s going to say is going to trump me.”

“And rightly so.”

“Dude, I know, shut it.” Jean mumbled into his hand that was pressed against his mouth.

“What did you have planned?” Bert asked. Reiner looked down at Jean, who felt like he was shrinking in his chair.

“I don’t know,” he picked at his cuticles to calm himself down. “Something like I’m sorry I’m an asshole; you were only trying to help; I appreciate what you do for me and how much you care about me and uh,” he paused and looked at them. They both raised their eyebrows. “And, I don’t know, I still like you a lot or something,” he said rigidly, still wary of Bert and Reiner knowing of him and Marco’s relationship now.

“That’s actually not bad as long as you’re being sincere.”

“Of course I’m sincere!” he practically yelped.

“And that you don’t become too provoked that shouting seems like it will solve your problems.”

Bert stood, chair scraping along the floor, “want anything to drink, Jean?”

“Something warm.”

Reiner sat back, “me too, babe.”

 

For a while, until everyone came home from their final class of the day, they sat in the dining room and talked until dusk. When the door smacked open again, he heard his name being called loudly and over excitedly. The front room was flooded with the last 75% of people that lived there. Connie rushed and smacked Jean and his back during their reunion hug then another slap against the side of his head, calling him an asshole. Jean made his rounds saying hello to everyone, smiling with the little strength he still had from the day.

Marco stuck towards the door; he knew Jean was coming today - Eren shouted from the center of the house to, what he thought, effectively tell everyone - but was apprehensive for what was to come.

Armin, the last to say hello again, put his arm on Jean’s shoulder and looked over to Marco who was leaning against the door, hands in his pockets. “You two should talk. It’s mine and Eren’s night to cook and it’s going to take a while so I hope that you to have everything settled by the time it’s dinner.”

“If I know anything about Eren’s cooking we might be here for days.” Jean attempted to soften the heavy atmosphere that started to take place.

“I heard that asshole, I’m a fantastic cook.”

Armin patted his shoulder and walked past him while Marco lead the way to he and Connie’s room. He listened as Eren continued to brag to Armin about how amazing his Ramen noodle making skills are while Armin just agreed.

Marco opened the door to his room for them. Jean stepped in, overcome with the smell of Marco and Connie’s weird cologne. He leaned against Connie’s wardrobe, opposite to the wall where the poster he gave Marco hang.

Marco shut the door behind him and walked to his bed, setting his backpack against the bed frame. The buzz of silence loomed over the two of them. While Marco sat on his bed to take of his boots, Jean could only watch as his fingers worked at the laces. Once he finished and put them beneath the bed, Marco rested his elbows on his knees and sighed loudly.

The beating of Jean’s heart resonated throughout his entire body as if he was too close to the speakers at a concert.

He swallowed before he spoke slowly. “Marco...” was all he could manage for now.

Marco’s eyes shot up and made contact with Jean’s. The fire that had turned to embers was now a wildfire within him. The flames licked along his face, making his cheeks grow red from frustration. “Go ahead,” Marco said low and brooding, breaking the ringing in Jean’s ears.

He looked back at his feet covered by black socks and tapping the floor without sound. He knew this was not going to be a simple kiss and makeup but all the time he spent preparing with Reiner and Bert were for naught as his mind became blank then filled with nothing but desperation.

“I guess I’ll start by apologizing,” he began and let it linger for a while to shove his hands in his pockets to stop himself from picking at the skin along his nails. Before he could stop himself, everything he was thinking and feeling crashed over him and spilled to Marco.

“I’m sorry I lashed out at you. It was unfair and stupid of me to let everything that was stressing me out on to you. I only did it because it felt like Jean against the world and the only person that was on my side turned their back on me.”

“What makes you think I turned my back on you?” Marco asked, almost accusingly.

“You talked as if my parents were being rational people.”

Marco focused his eyes towards the floorboards beneath him. “I was just trying to help you understand. If you listened to me and didn’t-”

“Look, I don’t want to talk about that right now, I just want to talk about us,” Jean interrupted cautiously. He watched as Marco rubbed his long fingers across his forehead, pausing to stop and massage temples.

“I think that’s that first thing we need to discuss.”

“What, why? I would like to avoid talking about my parents as much as possible right now.”

“It’s not necessarily that. We need to talk about what lead us here, okay? Have an open fucking conversation without derailing and not talk to each other for over a month.”

“I’ve already told you what I felt like so I don’t see the point.” Jean said while furrowing his eyebrows.

Marco scoffed and looked at him, bewildered. “Did you ever wonder how I was feeling exactly?”

Jean looked away, clenching his jaw. “I mean, I read your letters...” he said, trailing off.

“Oh,” Marco let out a short breath to mock a laugh, “good to know. Thanks for getting back to me,” he said sardonically.

Jean recalled Marco’s last letter, messy and no doubt every word dripping with emotion. “Are you really done trying?” Jean asked softly after a minute.

Marco let his head rest in his hands and covered his eyes. He replied with the same softness, “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

It took another minute before either of them spoke again.  “All I was trying to do,” Marco started, “was attempting to help you understand your parent’s perspective and then figure out a way to get them to back off. I thought I was being helpful instead of annoying, which I guess I’m sorry for.”

“No, don’t be. I was just being an unresponsive asshole. You were at least trying, which is more than I can say about anyone else before.” He was in the middle of the room now, still far enough not able to reach Marco with his hand but still, closer.

There was a tug in Marco’s heart as Jean said that but he held strong to what he wanted to get out of this conversation. “From now on no more shitty communication just because one of us upset.” He briefly looked at Jean, who nodded with tightened fists. “We’re going to establish this right now. We are going to have a fucking honest as hell conversations so we can always be on the same wavelength. No more running away bullshit.”

Jean hastily agreed and before he could say much more, Marco felt a burst of emotion course through him again. “You know Jean, if you pull this shit again I am _not_ going to chase after you.” He was standing now, facing Jean and no longer hiding his face. “You're obviously important to me and I know it's the same for you so if you care about us at all please, _please_ be a little more considerate.”

He watched as Jean’s eyes started to redden a little with tears forming along the edges but never falling.

“Thank you,” he said quickly, “thank you for caring, for dealing with me. I never intended this to happen but like I’ve told you before, I’m a fucking douchebag without you.” He laughed a little and pinched the bridge of his nose. “All I fucking thought about was you. Some days I blamed myself and other days I blamed you and it all just turned out to be one big, drunk, shit storm.”

“Drunk?” Marco asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Jean laughed and ran his fingers through the long parts of his hair. “Yeah,” he chuckled, “I went a little crazy.”

Marco half smiled and brought a hand to the back of Jean’s neck and made him look into his eyes. “Please don’t ever do something like this again.”

Jean placed a hand on Marco’s wrist. “I’m never going to let anything like this happen. You mean too much to me.” As soon as he finished speaking Marco pulled him into a hug and squeezed tightly along his shoulders, feeling Jean’s shoulder blades move as he wrapped his arms are Marco’s.

They stood there a while with their noses buried into the crooks of each others necks. Never fully breaking apart, they separated a bit to look each other in the eye. They both smiled to each other and pressed their foreheads together a little before Marco swooped in and captured Jean’s smile on his lips.

It didn’t take too long for either of them to swell with passion and start breathing heavily between long, heated kisses. Hands were roaming anywhere they could touch as they found each other again, issues resolved and trust regained.

Marco’s fingertips began to skim along the hem of Jean’s shirt just as Reiner called loudly from the first floor for dinner.

Their kisses slowed while their hands found one anothers and they interlaced their excited fingers.

“Hungry?” Marco said breathing against Jean’s lips.

“Starving,” he said as he nipped at Marco’s lips with a devilish grin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how long it's been but hey at least we've got some resolve, no? My mom told me a long time ago about when my dad said that he would never chase after her and for some reason it really sticks out to me and has sort of become part of my personal philosophy.  
> I'll try to be faster in this next chapter to come up. Although it is April and it's the busiest month at Uni so we'll see how well that goes. /sweats  
> If you noticed, I changed it too T because smut stresses me out. However! I'm also going to be adding a Springles, ReiBert, and potential smut side chapters at some point cause that's fun.  
> peace out for now!


End file.
